Babysitting Hell
by LadyFudgeMcKittyKat
Summary: Jacob is 17, and has to babysit the cullen's. Mostly human, with several twists, full summary inside. Welcome to idea's. If you're a babysitter than you know what it's like, but with the Cullens it's worse. Rated T cause of chapt 11
1. Trouble and Cabbage kids

**Chapter one**

Trouble & cabbage kids

**Jacob is 17 years old, and he's the babysitter of seven little kids/monsters, all the Cullens have been shrunk and turned into kids for the sake of this fanfiction. Don't worry! They're still big in the movies and in the books! Rose is the oldest (I know Edward is really but again, for the sake of this fanfiction it's Rose), she's 10 years old. Emmett is the next oldest, he's eight, then Jasper & Alice who are both six (twins). Edward and Bella are both five but not twins. And finally little Renesmee who's one. I'm hoping I get the personalities right, oh and two more things. They're not together, with the exception of Edward and Bella; they're related, again with the exception of Bella. Hope you enjoy it. **

**At the Cullens house, Jacob's POV**

It was 4pm and I was finally having a bit of peace, which was not usually happened. Esme, the kids' mom, called me around two, asking me if I could babysit the kids for a little while. I've been babysitting the kids for just over a month now, all six of them, there was usually seven when Charlie left little Bella over, but Bella was at a party today, Edward told me. Seriously, that kid is in love with her, ask Edward any question on Bella, for example the food she would order if they ever went to a restaurant he would immediately say, "that's easy, she would order mushroom ravioli and coke!" the kid knows _everything_ about her, if I didn't know any better I would say Bella has herself a stalker.

It was a little too quiet, I checked the clock. 4:10pm, it's only been half-an-hour since I arrived and no noise from any of them. Rose was supposed to be doing her homework, just like Emmett, Alice and Jasper, but I doubt Emmett was doing anything. Edward was in the back garden, swinging, probably thinking about Bella, and Nessie was sitting on the floor in front of me, watching Looney toons. They were good kids, underneath, just not on the surface. Rose was only 10, but the way she acted it was almost like she was 16. Emmett was 8, but he sure didn't act like it, he acts more like a three year old, even Nessie, who is only one, acts more mature than him. Nessie's at the stage of just being able to toddle about, and her vocabulary is limited to around six phrases and words, "uh oh," "no!", "mama," "dada," "juice," and "Bad Emmie," (I taught her that one). Jasper and Alice were both six, they act their age, most of the time. Edward and Bella were both five, but not related. Bella's Charlie's kid, the Cullens were Carlisle and Esme's kids.

It was just then when I heard a crash from upstairs. A feeling of half relief and half annoyance washed over me. Relief cause they're still alive up there, and annoyance cause whatever they've done, it isn't good. Nessie turned round and was staring at me with her big brown eyes, her small hands covering her mouth and a shocked expression on her face.

"Uh oh," she said.

"Uh oh is right," I replied, "keep you watching Looney toons Ness, I'll be back in a moment." She turned back round to face the TV happily while I got up and started heading upstairs. I could hear them whispering to each other by the time I got to the top of the stairs. There was a vase smashed in the hall, I stepped over it and went into Nessie's nursery, where the voices were coming from. As soon as I stepped in the door they shouted,

"HE DID IT!"

"SHE DID IT!"

"HE DID IT!"

"SHE DID IT!" all at once. I saw Alice, jasper, Rose and Emmett all standing round a broken table, which was completely ripped apart, _a wooden table_! Alice was pointing at Emmett, Emmett was pointing at Rose, Rose was pointing at Jasper and Jasper was pointing at Alice, all with guilty expressions on their faces. It didn't take a master mind to find out who did it. I raised an eyebrow at them.

"IT WASN'T ME!" They all shouted. I clamped a hand over Emmett's mouth, since he was the loudest.

"Do you want to wake china?" I asked them quietly. There was a sharp pain in my hand so I pulled it back from Emmett's mouth as quickly as I could, muttering "Ow."

"Yes!" Emmett shouted.

I looked down at my hand and there were seven bite marks and little droplets of blood. I shook my hand, trying to get rid of the pain and grabbed Emmett by the scruff of the neck and took him downstairs. The other little monsters followed.

I set Emmett down in the kitchen and went to sink to run my hand under cold water to clean it. By the time I got back to Emmett he was spinning around and around on his chair, a huge grin on his face. Why did I set him on _that_ chair? I growled and held on to his shoulders, stopping him from spinning.

"Because of you I'll have to get a tetanus injection," I whispered. Emmett only chuckled, jumped down from chair and walked off. Why did I ever offer to babysit these kids, oh yeah, I know why, still, I should have never taken on this job.

I grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit I always brought with me from my backpack and wrapped it round my hand. I ran back upstairs and starting trying to clean up the mess the little monsters made. I set all the wood outside, in case the kids got splinters in their hands. I put the broken vase in the bin and locked all the doors upstairs, making sure none of the kids were in them so I wouldn't be reported for child abuse and came back down stairs to find all six kids sitting watching Looney toons with Ness.

"Jake?" a little voice said. I looked down and saw Alice; she was so tiny I almost didn't see her. I got down to her height.

"Where do Babies come from?" she asked, a confused expression on her tiny features. I wasn't really sure how to answer that, she was only six years old! I wasn't going to tell her of course, I mean, I didn't find out til I was fourteen. Rose's eyes flashed with knowledge, I warned her with my eyes to keep her mouth shut.

"Ask your Daddy, Al, he'll tell you when you're older," I told her. Her little eyebrows came down,

"But I wanna know now," she complained.

"I know kid, but that's a topic for when you're older, you're too young right now,"

"I wanna know!" she insisted.

"When mommy and daddy love each other very much," Rose started, but I cut in before she could say any more,

"They call the stork," I said quickly, Rose smiled sweetly, I shot her a _you're going to get it_ look and continued, "they call the stork and ask for a baby, they get a little seed and plant it in the garden,"

"Like a cabbage!" said Jasper.

"Yeah Jazz, like a cabbage. So whenever that little seed is all fully grown mommy and daddy got a little baby to take care of," I finished, hoping for no more questions.

"But if we're cabbage patch kids, why do mommy and daddy give us cabbage to eat? Aren't we eating babies?" asked Emmett.

"No!" I said quickly when I saw the look of disgust on Al's little face, "cause cabbages are a veggie, and you aren't veggies."

"What are we then?" asked Edward.

Just then Carlisle came in the door, I grabbed my bag as quickly as I could and ran to the door,

"They're all yours," I said to Carlisle, I patted him on the shoulder and ran out the door.

"Jacob, what happened to your hand?" he asked before I made it out. I turned and smiled at Emmett,

"Ask Emmett," I told him and ran off. I'd had enough for one day, plus I had to go to the hospital for an injection. Oh joy.

**I know it's a bit boring, and I'm really sorry for those who were reading the old version of this; I hope this version's a bit better. Still open to ideas and I'll make sure to use them if Idea's are put in. Again, really sorry for re-doing the whole thing, it was easier just to start over. Review and tell me what you think. Oh, one more thing, I was thinking to maybe have some sort of question at the end of every chapter, just to make it all more fun, and whoever gets it right first can be like a guest character in the next chapter, let me know what you guys think of that idea. If you like it, I'll tell you more in Chapter two. Thanks. **


	2. Hospitals and Hammers

**Chapter two**

Hospitals and Hammers

**At the Cullen house, Jacob's POV**

I wouldn't have been babysitting today, at all, but Esme phoned me up again, there was a wedding crisis and Carlisle was at work. It was a week after I got my tetanus injection; the doctor was trying not to laugh when I told him, after he asked, what happened to my hand. He was a young doctor so he must've not been there long; if he had been there a while he would've known Carlisle's kids. The nurse who came in overheard and gave me a sympathetic look, I noticed she had a few scars on her hand that looked like bite marks.

"You tried giving the Cullens their injections?" I asked her. She smiled but nodded,

"We tie a scarf over their mouth's now, and their hands behind their backs," she replied. I smiled at this. The doctor giving me the injection stopped laughing and looked from me, to the nurse. He swallowed loudly and while he gave me the injection his hand was shaking. He had to try three times before it finally worked, it didn't hurt, but it bothered me that it was taking so long, Billy must be wondering where I was.

I was sitting on the doorstep of the Cullen household, waiting for them to get back. Esme told me that she took them out for ice-cream to keep them quiet. It was raining slightly, but that didn't bother me. I was up half the night, I kept hearing these howls outside my window, I thought nothing of it, but it kept me awake. I had my head resting against the door, and closed my eyes. **(AN: I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain, to see for certain, what I thought I knew! Far far away, far far away, someone was dream, ah ah ah! While the world was sleeping, Ah ah, any dream will doooo! Sorry, Couldn't help myself, Joseph fans will know what I'm talking about here)**

Just then a car pulled up. I slowly got up as Esme got out of the car, Rosalie on her heels. Jasper was holding Nessie's hand with one hand, and had an ice-cream in the other, but was going a little too fast so Ness toppled over onto the grass. Alice jumped from the car and followed her siblings into the house. Emmett came of the car last and closed the car door behind him, ice-cream all over his face. I picked up Nessie from the grass just as Esme ran out from the house.

"Edward and Bella are at Charlie's house, he'll drop them off later but I should be back by then," She said quickly. There was a loud crash from the house, Esme, quite unconcerned, thanked me, got into her car and drove off as fast as she could without being arrested for speeding. I went into the house and set Nessie down at the door, she toddled off, grabbing her favourite cuddly wolf toy and waddling into the kitchen.

I went to the garage, cause I heard a noise coming from there and saw Emmett with a hammer, hammering his father's car. At first I thought this was funny, Emmett was going to be in so much trouble when Carlisle found out, but then I realised so would I, they would think I _let _him smash the car in, which I was, but not the point. I ran in and tried grabbing the hammer from him; he either ignored me, or didn't know I was there but the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor, with a killer head-ache. I must've blacked out, I couldn't see, or move, but I could hear. Emmett still didn't see me, either than or he was ignoring me. He continued to smash the car in, that much I knew; I could hear the sounds to smashing glass plus feel it as the glass hit my arm. I could feel wet, sticky stuff on my forehead, dripping down my face, I wanted to wipe it away, whatever it was, but I still couldn't move. I was cold, really cold. It was only when I tasted the blood in my mouth that I realised Emmett must've hit my head, I couldn't feel the pain, I must've been in shock. I felt a sharp pain across my arm as another piece of glass hit me. I kept wondering how long it would take Emmett to see me, lying there probably covered in blood. I didn't have to wait long.

I heard the footsteps first, then the scream.

"EMMETT!" screamed Rose, "YOU KILLED JAKE!" I heard her running over and Emmett dropping the hammer. I felt Rose check for a pulse, which I'm 80% sure was there. If I had died I don't think I would've heard anything, or felt the wet sticky stuff on my face, head and arm. Rose sighed a breath in relief.

"He's alive, Em get the phone," she said. I couldn't hear Emmett moving, did he really hate me that much? Not that I cared of course, though I was surprised when Rose wounded upset that I had died. I thought she enjoyed watching me suffer.

I heard more footsteps, a couple of gasps and another scream.

"Jazz, get Al out of here and grab the phone!" Rose said, rather calmly. Pride swelled in my chest, I was proud of her, she was keeping calm in a situation she's never encountered before. Jazz must've come back with the phone, I didn't hear him come in but I heard Rose punching in the numbers in.

"Hello? Yeah I need an ambulance," there was a pause, " Yeah my friend's unconscious and covered in blood," I was right there at least, she gave the address and directions in case they got lost.

"Jake?" I felt a cold hand on the arm that didn't burn slightly, "Jake, they'll be here soon, kay? Hang in there, it'll be okay," she told me, and I believed her. It took the paramedics only five minutes to get here, for those whole five minutes Rose told me all about her school. About how she liked his boy in her class, his name was Christopher, she told me all about him, and I listened. While I listened I learned, turns out Rose wasn't as bad as she seemed. She really was a good kid.

When the paramedics arrived Jazz got the door and led them to the garage. Then Jazz left. I wasn't really paying attention anymore, not properly.

"I'm Mike and this is Jessica, we're just going to check…" he paused.

"Jacob, his name's Jacob," said Rose.

"Okay, we're just going to check Jacob over okay, make sure everything's okay," a male voice said. A few seconds later I felt a hand making sure my breathing was alright ECT…

"Jacob? Can you hear us?" Mike said. I sure can, but I can't reply.

"Do you know what happened?" the girl asked kindly while they continued to check me over.

"Emmett? What happened" asked Rose. Emmett was still here? He was real quiet, that's not like him. Emmett just whimpered,

"It was my fault," he whispered hysterically, "I was playing with the hammer, and I didn't see Jake, I didn't mean to, I really didn't mean to, he'll be okay right? I didn't kill him? I don't wanna go to jail, I really didn't mean to. I promise I'll never play with the hammer again, just don't report me to the police for attempted murder, I really didn't mean to!" Poor kid, he sounded scared. He was talking so fast I couldn't hear half of what he said.

"Hey, it'll be okay kid, Jake will be just fine. And we won't report you to the police, no worries, just an accident," said Mike in a calm voice. Emmett sighed a breath of relief. I was then lifted up onto one of those wheelie beds, I think so anyway, cause I felt like I was moving.

"We're just taking him into hospital, okay? That way we can take care of him properly," the woman said.

"Okay, but I'm coming," said Rose.

"Mike, maybe we'd better bring all the kids, we can't leave them here unattended," Jessica whispered to Mike.

"Okay, get the kid into the ambulance," he replied and I heard the gravel crunching under his feet as he walked back towards the house, getting the rest of the Cullens. Once I was in the ambulance, and all of the Cullens were as well we drove off. Rose, Jazz, Em and Nessie were in the back, with me and Jessica, who was there just to make sure I didn't die on the journey. Alice was in the front with Mike, who was telling her what all the buttons did.

"Jake will wake up right?" asked a quiet voice who I recognized as Emmett.

"Yeah, course he will, he'll be just grand," replied Jessica, putting an IV into my arm and checking the bandages they put on my arm and head.

Once we got to the hospital I heard Carlisle voice,

"What happened?" he asked, sounding concerned. The paramedics repeated the confused story that Emmett gave them and wheeled me into the building. Carlisle took his kids into the waiting room and I was left alone in the room they left me in. Then I must've dozed off for a bit.

After a few hours I could finally open my eyes, a Doctor came in and explained in medical terms what was wrong with me, or at least that's what I think he was talking about. I sat up.

"Sorry Doctor, I'm no genius, could do dumb it down?" I asked. He smiled,

"You have fourteen stitches in your arm, and three stitches in your head, you'll need to come back in a few weeks to get them taken out once the wounds have healed," he explained. **(AN: Sorry if it's not correct, I've never been hit by a hammer before so I wouldn't know, I only know that it hurts)** I looked at my arm and saw the stitches, and felt the ones on my head. I was starting to feel the cuts I obtained from Emmett.

"There are a few kids who would like to see you, shall I send them in?" the doctor asked. I nodded, probably the Cullens.

I was right; the little herd of Cullens shuffled in. Ness had something in her hand. She waddled over to the bed and handed it to me. I lifted her up and set her on my knee. It was a get well soon card. I looked at them in surprise.

"We just wanted to say sorry," said Jasper, Rose nudged Emmett.

"I'm Sorry Jake, I didn't mean to hit you with the hammer, or daddy's car," he said nervously. I looked at their little scared faces, and laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Jasper.

"I'm laughing because you all think I'm mad at you," I chuckled.

"You're not?" asked Alice, climbing up on the hospital bed and sitting on my feet.

"Why would I be? It was an accident, and besides, I'll have a scar now, that's always a plus," I said showing them the stitches on my forearm.

"Yucky!" protested Nessie, pushing my arm away. We all laughed, that's another word to be added to Nessie's vocab.

I was discharged half-an-hour later; Carlisle wanted to go over a few things with me, one for example, what the hell happened? In different wording of course, Carlisle doesn't swear. Charlie brought Billy to the hospital, along with Edward and Bella, hearing what happened. Seriously? Does everybody in this town know now? Can't _anything_ in forks stay a secret?

I sent Billy home and told Carlisle I could take the Cullens back home. Carlisle thanked me and I got them all into the car. Charlie had taken Edward and Bella with him and told Carlisle he'd leave Edward back home once he had taken Billy home. I left the kids off at their house, Esme was already home, probably worried sick coming home to a destroyed house and missing children, but apparently she found out too, so it all turned out okay.

"Rose," I said as she was just getting out of the car, the others had already gone in. She turned,

"You're not a bad kid," I told her. She smiled for about half-a-second then said,

"You heard all that?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Tell anyone and you're dead meat," she said, her eyebrows pulled down with anger and stomped into the house. I sighed; glad things were back to normal. I've had enough drama for one day, now I'm going to go home and lift that hammer off the garage floor and maybe put it on the very bottom shelf in a box and lock it up, don't want any more accidents.

**I know it's still a little boring, and it's changed a little from the last version, but I hope you liked it, review and let me know what you think of it. I'm still open to ideas, how long do you want this to be? I've got maybe a few idea's for a sequel? Again, I am sorry that I haven't written anything in ages, hopefully this all might help to make up for it. **

**As for the idea that I had in the last chapter there, no-one's commented on it, so I'm taking that as a no, unless I get some feedback on the idea I'm forgetting I even had the idea in the first place. **


	3. New neighbours and Worst enemies

**Chapter three**

New neighbours and worst enemies

**Jacob's POV (As usual) Cullen house**

It's been two weeks since the little incident with the hammer, Emmett was grounded for three whole weeks, and apparently he isn't complaining. I saw Carlisle in Wal-Mart **(AN: Forgive me if Wal-Mart isn't in Forks it's the only American shop I know)** while I was doing the weekly shopping for Billy and he apologised for his son's behaviour and told me that he was grounded. Carlisle said he would understand if I didn't want to babysit the Cullens anymore, but his eyes told a different story. Sure, I know he wouldn't mind, but no-one else would take the little monsters, and they couldn't leave them at home alone, even if Rose is turning 11 next month (and especially not since they let Alice and Emmett watch "Home alone" one year, Al and Em hid under their bed for a week always looking out for the two men that were trying to get the little boy). But I told him that I'd be happy to go back and babysit them, Emmett's is good kid really, just not on the surface, or 30km down but below all that he's a good kid.

You could almost hear the mental sigh of relief when I said that, he then asked if I could babysit next week, so I agreed. Next week has come around, time to face the music.

As I was driving up I noticed a removal van in front of the house next door **(AN: I know that the Cullens don't have neighbours in the books, but for this fanfiction neighbours are needed)**, that was the first time I actually noticed that there _was_ a house next door, it was hidden by trees before, but the new neighbours mustn't be tree huggers and decided to kill the trees so that they would be seen. I'm sure the Cullens weren't too pleased with the non-tree-huggers and are probably having a funeral for each of the tress cut down; in fact, I hope they aren't, trees can't be buried.

Carlisle was sitting with Nessie on his knee as I let myself in (they gave me a key in case I ever needed one), as soon as he saw me and got up, gave Nessie to me, thanked me and ran out the door.

"Where's the monsters? Huh?" I asked Nessie as she grabbed hold of my finger, wondered whether it tasted good or not and started trying to digest my pinky finger with her little (and rather sharp) teeth. I smiled down at her and decided to see if they were outside.

Turns out they _were _giving the trees a funeral. There were three crosses made from two sticks and three huge mounds of earth, at least three metres long and half a foot wide, they actually_ buried_ the trees. The Cullen garden was very big, they had a smallish patio on the left hand side just as you came out the back door with steps leading up to it, a swing set which included two normal swings, a baby swing and a tire swing, a slide, a tree-house with a rope ladder to get up to it, only Rose, Emmett or Jasper ever went up there (Alice was too small and Edward, Bella and Ness were too young) and what used to be a huge bit behind that which wasn't so big anymore since three huge mounds of earth now filled that space. There was a small garden wall around their back yard, to keep the Cullens in, but by now Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose could all climb over it, it was only 5ft tall.

All the Cullens were dressed in Black; Jasper had his arm around Alice, who was crying. Bella and Edward were holding hands, Bella was trying to be brave, Rose was standing the middle with boxes of tissues in her hand and Emmett was standing in front of them, wearing a white collar. He was a bit too far away for me to hear so I went closer with Nessie, who still didn't know whether my finger tastes good or not.

"Let us have a moment's silence for Mr. Tree, Mrs. Tree and," he paused, "Bobbie McBobcat." And it was quiet; the only sound you could hear was Bella's heavy breathing, and Alice, crying silently on Jaspers suit. I'd never seen the kids this quiet before in my life! Mr. and Mrs. Tree's death must've really upset them, not forgetting Bobbie McBobcat, who came up with that?

Moments later their moment of silence must've ended as they all started into a choirs of "ding dong the witch is dead," from the wizard of oz and started skipping about with smiles on their faces.

"DONG!" Shouted Ness, clapping her little hands together. Well, my finger's still there, it must've tasted bad. Nessie started to wriggle in my grip so I set her down. She crawled over to the mound of dirt and began to dig. I ran and grabbed her before she managed to bury her tiny behind. Ness was covered in dirt and dust so I decided she needed a bath.

"Rose?" she turned to look at me, "could you bath Nessie for me while I clean up the rest of them?" Rose took Nessie from me and went into the house. Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice and Emmett were still singing, I managed (somehow) to grab Emmett by the scruff of the neck, and drag him inside, the others followed. They all changed into their baseball uniforms, grabbed the bat, the ball and the bases and ran outside, I followed close behind. Rose was already out there in her baseball uniform with Nessie, all cleaned up. She gave Ness to me and joined in while the Cullens picked teams. Edward, Alice, and Jasper were on one team, while Rose, Emmett were on the other team.

"Jake!" Alice called, I walked over to them.

"Our team is one short, can you play?" asked Em.

"What about Bells?" I asked, watching Bella walk over to the swings and sit facing the game.

"Bella can't play, Charlie said she's already been to the hospital four times this week and he doesn't want to make it five," replied Rose. Poor Bells could trip over thin air.

"Sure, just let me set Ness down," I replied. I walked over to the swings and set Nessie in the baby swing and strapped her in so she wouldn't fall out.

"Bells, can you watch Ness for me?" I asked. She nodded, smiling.

"Thanks," I said and ran back to the Cullens. Edward was at the far end of the small pitch they'd set up, and Alice held the ball positioned at the pitcher's mound. Emmett was batting first, he took his place and started swinging the bat; it whistled through the air. Jasper stood a few feet behind Em, ready to catch the ball for the other team. Rose and I stood a few feet from Jazz. Alice threw the ball, with incredible speed, she's only what? Six years of age? Emmett hit the ball with incredible strength, it went past Edward who was at least 15 metres from Rose and I. Emmett ran to first base and Edward disappeared. Emmett ran rather fast.

"Home run," I whispered, in shock. First Alice throws it with incredible speed, Emmett runs incredibly fast and Edward, where did he go? Just before Emmett got to last base, Edward came out of nowhere with the ball in his hands, and dropped it onto last base.

"Out!" shouted Jasper. Em went over to sit next to Bella and dropped the bat on his way. Just as Rose was about to step up to the bat we heard a voice,

"Can we play?" a young boy's voice asked. We all turned towards the sound and saw a boy, no older than five, crouching on the top of the garden wall like a cat waiting to spring. He was wearing a pair of jeans, ripped at both knees, and a casual button-down shirt. He had cropped light brown hair and vibrant blue eyes. He stared at us, almost hungrily.

"Who's 'we'?" asked Rose, standing protectively in front of Jasper, I didn't blame her; the boy had an air of arrogance about him, and he projected a sinister aura.

"I'm James," he said, "There's also my sister, Victoria, and our cousin, Laurent."

"I guess you guys can play," said Emmett, uncertainly. He stood beside rose, holding Nessie by the hand. Bella stood behind me, tugging at my hand.

"They said we can play," James said to someone on the other side of the wall.

A young girl jumped up onto the wall, very feline like. She had wild red hair that quivered slightly in the breeze and vibrant blue eyes like her brother. She and her brother jumped down from the wall and landed on their feet as lightly as cats. These two kids were starting to freak me out. A taller boy jumped up on the wall as lightly as the other two. He had olive-toned skin and glossy black hair. His eyes were a vibrant green, and he didn't project such a sinister aura as the other two. He jumped down from the wall as lightly as his younger cousins. They walked towards our little group. The younger boy, James joined me, Rose, and Em, the girl, Victoria, and the older boy, Laurent, joined Alice, Edward and Jasper.

"We're one short," James said. We all looked around and counted who many were on each team, James was right, we were one short, but Bella or Nessie couldn't play, Ness is too young and Charlie doesn't want Bella going into hospital for the fifth time this week, and it's only Thursday.

James's eyes turned towards Bella, he started to reach out his hand but in a flash Edward was standing protectively in front of Bella.

"Leave her alone," Edward said, bearing his teeth, a low growl coming from his throat, and this wasn't just any human growl, Edward actually sounded like, well…almost like a vampire. If I hadn't heard him growl, I don't think I would've believed it. I saw James's eyes shift from vibrant blue to glowing red, but when I snapped my head in his direction they were vibrant blue. I must've been imagining things. I picked up Nessie who was sitting on the ground at my feet. All the Cullens moved closer to Edward and Bella, forming a protective ring around them, Victoria moved closer to James, crouching like a cat ready to pounce beside him. Laurent and I were the only ones who held our ground. Laurent looked quite unconcerned, while I was very concerned.

"I think it's time to go in, it looks like it's going to rain," I said, looking up at the sky then back to the kids. When I looked back from the sky to the kids, they were all standing normally, smiling pleasantly, well, everyone apart from Edward, Bella and James that was. Edward and James were still staring at each other with hostile expressions, while Bella stayed close behind Edward, her tiny hand rested on his back between his shoulder blades. I ushered the kids indoors.

"Well, it was nice to meet you three," I said, James' head snapped up, Edward took Bella by the hand and quickly went inside with the other Cullens.

"Nice to meet you too," replied James. He smiled, then jumped up onto the wall as gracefully as a cat, and jumped down on the other side, with Victoria and Laurent close behind. Laurent gave me a sympathetic look before disappearing on the other side of the wall. I went indoors with Ness before it started raining. When I got inside and closed the door behind me Edward was sitting on the sofa in the living room with Bella, speaking quietly. Rose was sitting on the stairs getting out her school books, something she hardly did, Emmett was under the stairs getting his schoolbag, something he_ never_ did, Alice was sitting quietly at the dining table reading a book she got from school last week, something she wouldn't normally do. She's normally waited and asks Esme, Carlisle or me to help her out, and Jasper was no-where to be seen. One thing was for sure, something was up with the kids' next door…. and I figure that means something bad, I don't know, that's what they always say in the movies, you know those action ones where you don't know who the bad guy is and it turns out the guy standing in the background who everyone thought was good is actually the bad guy, but before they realise that there's always this one guy who says, "One thing's for sure, something is up with whoever," but his friend says, "Nah, you're imagining things, now I'm hungry, let's go get a burger," then they do and forget about the whole thing, and when they do find out that the guy who said, "One thing's for sure, something's up with whoever," was right, they all panic and everyone dies. Okay, that was a bit dramatic; I have no idea where that came from. I shrugged it off and went to sit on the couch, sat Nessie on my knee and waited for Carlisle and Esme to get back, this has been one hell of a day.

**Review and tell me what you think, do you guys want more of James, Victoria and Laurent? **


	4. Explosions, 911 and Weekend madness!

**Chapter Four**

Explosions, 911 and Weekend madness

**Sorry this chapter took a little longer than expected, I've been working on a book I'm writing at the moment, a book that I want published hopefully sometime next year but before that happens I need to actually **_**write**_** the book, so sorry this chapter took a little longer. **

**Selena, your idea will be put in, but I've got a few ideas that need to go in before that, but don't worry, you'll get to see the Volturi kids ;) With an extra surprise/twist that hopefully no-one will expect (Apart from Klutzarella123 and Tamara A.k.a CaptainMcCheese) but that's all I'm saying. Oh and Selena Cittcatt, Ammy Tiger and Ashley Catete thanks so much for the reviews :) **

**Jacob's POV**

Finally it was summer! No more school to worry about, but man was I bored. The only thing I don't like about summer is that there's nothing to do! My friend, Embry was acting weird, he was ill for a bit, but it's been a week, he's avoiding Quil and I, we're sure of it.

I was babysitting again; Esme and Carlisle were going away for the weekend so I had the little monsters for three whole days. This was going to be fun. What the hell was I going to do with seven little monsters for three whole days? I didn't even think Friday was part of the weekend! I bet Esme and Carlisle only told me it was part of the weekend so they could get away from parenting duties for longer. I mean, that's what I'd do, lie to an innocent teenage boy, who doesn't deserve to be left with seven little monsters for three whole days, just to be relieved of parenting duties for a little longer! I parked my 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit, I'd just finished it, I finally found that master cylinder, climbed out of the car, grabbed my stuff for the weekend from the back seat and went up to the front door. I put a hand up to knock, but before I could the door swung open.

"Jacob, right on time. Thank you again for doing this. Please come in," Carlisle stood aside and I walked through.

"It's no problem," I replied, there's nothing I want more than to spend my Friday night with seven little ninja's who put not only my chances of getting into college on the line, but also my sanity, not to mention my chances of_ not_ getting a criminal record and sometimes even my life. If I get arrested for public damage again, my dad told me he'd personally kill me. Although technically that one was on Alice, she shouldn't have played makeovers with not only my school, Forks high school and the local middle school, but also the white house in Washington DC.

"Thank you ever so much Jacob," Esme said, carrying her suitcase downstairs.

"I'll take that Honey," said Carlisle as he took the suitcase from her went out to put it in the boot of the car. Esme smiled and stopped in front of me,

"If you need anything we'll only be a phone call away," she assured me, handing me a card with two different numbers on it, "The top on is my mobile, the second one is Carlisle's." I took the card and thanked her.

"Oh, Nessie's just out of nappies and good luck" Said Carlisle from the car.

"Thanks," I replied and watched mournfully as Esme got into the car and Carlisle drove off, wondering what Carlisle meant about Nessie just being out of nappies, do I need to buy more? Or is she out of them, as in she doesn't need to wear them ever again? Well there goes my freedom for the next three days.

"Jake!" I heard a voice from behind me. Rose was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at me with a confused expression on her face, "What are you doing standing in the doorway?" she asked.

"Waiting for my freedom to come back," I answered glumly. I closed the door and went to sit on the sofa. I dropped my bag full of everything that I'd need for the next three days (including a first aid kit, oven gloves, the last of my sanity, handcuffs, rope, seven collars with their names and a phone number to call if they get lost on them, dog leads, my sleeping bag, a pillow, spare clothes, a wash bag and a life-size version of stitch the little blue alien dog thing just in case things got really bad) on the floor in front of me. I glanced up at the clock; it was 7pm on a Friday night. Esme assured me that the kids were already fed and she'd put Nessie to bed a hour before because she was tired. Alice, Jasper and Edward were in the kitchen colouring in, Charlie would leave Bella over tomorrow as far as I know and Emmett and Rose were _supposed _to be doing homework, but seeing as Rose was standing _right there_ and looking at me like I just grew an extra head, I'm gonna take a guess that they _aren't _doing their homework.

"It's only two days," said Rose, sitting down beside me. _Just_ two days? Doesn't she understand? Not only am I a teenager, but I'm a guy too! And giving up two whole days of my summer vacation was bad enough, but to spend it taking care of seven little kids! That was going just a bit too far. But then again, they aren't _all _that bad _all _the time.

There was an explosion in the kitchen,

"Jake? Um… something went wrong," I heard Jasper say. Okay, I take that back, they _are_ all bad all the time, but I've got the rest of today and two more days to get through so I might as well get started. I stood up and went into the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess, no, I take that back, the word mess doesn't cover it; the kitchen was more like a murder scene. Everything in sight was covered in egg, the place stank too. Edward, Jasper and Alice all stood, drenched to the bone, with sad little faces on. Kill me now, please.

"What the hell did you do?" I asked Alice.

"We uh… tried to cook an egg?" she said, as if she had no clue what she was doing, which is probably true.

"In the oven?"

"Uh… Yeah?" replied Jasper.

**(AN: I don't actually know if egg explodes in the oven, but for the sake of this fanfiction, let's just say it does. Although I wouldn't advise trying it out to see if it actually does make it explode, nope, not a good idea)**

"And you didn't think that it would explode in the process?"

"Nope," said Edward. Excellent, just excellent. These kids better start thinking about the consequences before they do something.

"Well, what lesson have you learnt from this?" I asked them, hoping for a good answer, I doubt it though.

"That oven's are mean?" asked Alice. I closed my eyes.

"How fast an egg can explode?" asked Jasper. I banged my head against the wall.

"How to make Jacob bang his head?" asked Edward. I went for the drawer that held the kitchen knives, but before I could get there,

"That oven's are _not_ toys," said Rose quickly. I turned and said,

"Thank you. Now wait here," I told Alice, Jasper and Edward sternly. They turned into statues. I took off my shoes since they were covered in egg, opened the front door and set them outside. Then I ran up the stairs and grabbed three towels. I went back into the kitchen.

"Edward? Come here," I told him, once he was standing on the small part of the kitchen that didn't have egg on it I wrapped the towel around him, picked him up, ran upstairs and dumped him in the bath.

"Stay," I told him. He grinned back at me. I rolled my eyes and went down for Jazz.

"Jazz, you next," again, once he was on the line I wrapped the towel around him, picked him up, ran upstairs and dumped him in the bath beside Edward.

"Stay," I told them both. Then ran down for Alice.

"Alice?" I called and she walked over. I wrapped the towel around her, picked her up, ran up the stairs and set her in her parents' bathroom bath.

"Rose!" I called. She ran up the stairs and into her parents' bathroom where I was standing next to the bath.

"Could you give Alice a bath while I deal with the boys?" I asked, she nodded and I left. I went back into the kid's bathroom, set a towel on the floor and set Edward and Jasper onto the towel.

"Just make sure you don't touch anything," I told them while I ran the bath. Once it was full and at the right temperature Edward and Jasper stripped and hopped in.

"You uh, okay to bath yourselves?" I asked them, a little uncomfortable.

"Of course we are, how old do you think we are? Four?" Jasper asked, washing the egg off his face.

"Good, just get into your PJ's once you done and come on downstairs. Call if you need anything," I told them and left, shutting the door behind me. I went downstairs to start cleaning up the kitchen and at least _try_ to get rid of the smell when something stopped me in my tracks. Nessie was sitting in the middle of the kitchen giggling with delight as she threw the raw egg up in the air, covered in egg and to top it all, she was naked.

_That's _what Carlisle meant, I suddenly recalled my father telling me baby stories. He once told me that when I was just out of diapers I used to run up the street naked, most kids did though so I wasn't the only one. It's a phase every kid goes through, but it _had_ to be today that Nessie started that phase, didn't it? Please kill me. I went upstairs, grabbed another towel and went back downstairs to grab Nessie and get Rose to give her a bath. Getting Nessie was going to be harder than getting Alice, Edward and Jasper. At least they knew when to come, but Nessie was having too much fun with the egg, she'd never come over.

"Nessie?" I called, sitting on the living room floor, hoping to get her attention. She didn't even look up; I tried again, "Nessie?" Nope, I'd have to go to her, oh joy. I stood up and carefully made my way over to Nessie, the floor was slippy. I made it about half-way before… _wham_, Jacob fell over. Nessie just laughed at me. I tried to stand up but it was almost like being on an ice rink, made of eggs. As soon as I got up, I fell right back down again. At this rate I'd still be trying to get Nessie away from the eggs by midnight, it was already 8pm.

"Come on Ness, help me out here," I said to her, trying to get up for the second time. She ignored me of course and continued to play with the eggs all over the floor. I managed to get up this time and take a few more steps towards Nessie only to fall down again. I tried getting up again and managed to wrap Nessie in a towel and pick her up. Then I turned and saw five shocked little faces staring at me.

"Oh, um… hi," I said, and then I fell. I managed to shield Nessie from the fall by holding her in my left arm while I twisted so I would fall on my right. My hand hit the floor in a funny angle, sending pain shooting up my arm. At least Nessie was alright, she even giggled. The other five laughed along with her.

"Rose, could you take Nessie to the bath?" I asked, trying to hide the pain in my voice, but it didn't work too well. The laughing cut off. It wasn't _that_ painful, just a real nuisance, and a bit painful, well I'll tell you this much, there was enough pain for it to show in my voice, but not enough pain for me to being swearing in agony (which I wouldn't as the kids would pick it up and I'd have some explaining to do to Carlisle and Esme about how their kids knew swear words). Rose took Nessie from me and ran upstairs. I managed to get up in sitting position using my left hand, and then I held my right hand in my left. I was completely covered in egg now; there was egg in my hair, stuck to my clothes, in my shoes ECT… It'll wash off, but it's the smell I'm worried about.

"Em, put on a DVD or something for Alice, Edward and Jasper," I said and Emmett immediately grabbed Alice by the wrist and set her on the sofa, Edward and Jasper followed. He put on "Finding Nemo" and that was Alice, Edward and Jasper happy. Once the DVD was running Emmett came back over to the kitchen and watched me for a bit. I was still deciding what to do.

"Em, do you think you could call 911?" I asked, giving him a chance to refuse. Emmett grabbed the phone and called 911. When he got off the phone he said,

"They're sending an ambulance, it'll be here in around 5minutes," he said.

"Thanks," I replied.

Rose came downstairs with Nessie in her PJ's. Nessie waddled over to the sofa and started watching finding Nemo while Rose opened the door for the ambulance people. Two familiar people walked in.

"Hi Mike," I said recognizing his voice. From the doorway Mike looked over and saw me sitting in the middle of an egg covered kitchen with my legs crossed.

"Hey Jacob," he said coming over with Jess, the other ambulance person, "You're conscious this time." I smiled, last time they treated me I was unconscious, I doubt they thought I'd remember them.

"What seems to be the trouble?" Jess asked, looking around the egg covered kitchen. Both Mike and Jess seemed reluctant to come into the kitchen in fear of getting covered in egg. I tried standing up so they wouldn't have to come over and Emmett jumped in to help me.

"Thanks," I said, surprised. He helped me to me feet and I walked towards Mike and Jess, stopping just before the floor was clean.

"Let's take a look at your hand," said Jess.

Turns out it was only staved, whatever that means. I just had a wear a bandage thing with a metal thing in the middle of it, which made it very hard to move my wrist, but it hurt when I moved it so I didn't move it at all. I thanked them of course before they left, and while they were here Nessie decided she didn't want to wear clothes anymore and striped. Rose made her put her clothes back on though, Mike and Jess just laughed.

Nessie started to yawn around 9:30pm, I was surprised she managed to stay awake for so long. I left the kids to watch the end of Finding Nemo while I scooped up Nessie and took her upstairs. I walked into her nursery, the same nursery that all the Cullen kids had when they were little, maybe with different wallpaper though. Nessie had Winnie the pooh wall paper on the walls, one of those little hangy down things that hung over the cot, it was Winnie the pooh too, a plain wardrobe, a changing table and lots of cuddly toys. She had a huge bear sitting by her window, I mean huge as in half the size of 5ft9 me (I was tall for my age). Nessie was already half-asleep in my arms. I looked down at her; she was smiling up at me, her eyes drooping. I was almost tempted to not set her down, just o let her sleep in my arms. I guess that's what a parent feels like. I reluctantly put her into her cot and wrapped the blanket around her. I watched her for a moment, and then turned to my left and saw a little music box. I opened it and a soft lullaby came from it. A little ballerina went round and round, it was enough to make my head spin. By the time I looked back, little Nessie was already asleep, cuddling her favourite toy wolf. I watched her for a moment, she looked so peaceful. There was a curl of bronze coloured hair in her eye so I gently moved it, careful not to wake her. I watched her for a moment more before leaving quietly, and gently closing the door behind me. Maybe this weekend wouldn't be as bad as I think it'll be.

There was a crash from downstairs; I quickly checked on Nessie, she was still asleep. Whew,

"Whoopies," I heard a voice from downstairs.

"Do you think Jake will notice?" Emmett asked.

"No, I'm sure Jake won't notice a huge hole in the wall Emmett," Rose said.

"No?" Edward said.

"Of course he will!" Rose replied.

"Oh you were being sarcastic," Alice said.

"No duh!" Rose retorted.

"Do we have any sellotape?" Jasper asked

"Hehe, sellotape…" Emmett said.

"EMMETT!" four voices shouted.

I take that back, this weekend will be a nightmare. After all, I'm babysitting Hell.

**This chapter sort of took a life of its own in a way, so I can't take credit for it :) I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. Please review and let me know what you think, Thanks. **


	5. Thunderstorms and New faces

**Chapter Five**

More weekend madness, thunderstorms and new faces

**Warning: This chapter may be a long one because it's the Friday night and all of Saturday :) **

**Jacob's POV, Friday night**

I finally managed to get all the Cullens into bed by 10pm; turns out they were eager to go to bed once I'd seen the hole in the wall. I have no idea how they did it, but there's now a gap the size of a small bear in the wall. Well … _I'm_ not going to be the one to explain this is Carlisle and Esme, no way; I'm throwing the kids into the deep end for this one. Or… you could always put a window there…

I was sleeping on the sofa for the next two nights, Carlisle and Esme tried getting me to sleep in their guest room, but I refused saying the sofa would be fine. How many rooms does this house have? Nessie has her own little nursery, Rose and Alice share a room, Jasper and Edward share a room, Emmett has his own room since no-one can stand the mess, Carlisle and Esme have a room, and they have a guest room. That's one, two, three, four, five, six. Yup six.

I wasn't tired yet so I decided to clean up the mess in the kitchen. I managed to get it all off the walls before I noticed that there was a thunderstorm heading our way. I was cleaning one of the windows before I saw the big, black, monster clouds. I ignored them and continued cleaning, thunderstorms never bothered me.

At around 11:30 the kitchen was finally clean, it still stank of eggs, but at least it was clean. I put the mop back where it belongs, put the rest of the cleaning stuff away and turned round to see Alice, standing in her PJ's, holding a teddy bear in one arm. Her expression was frightened. I put down whatever I was holding and got down to her height, put my hands on her tiny shoulders,

"Hey," I said softly, "What's wrong kiddo?" Just then lighting flashed lighting up the kitchen. Alice jumped, and then whimpered. Ohh, she was scared of the thunderstorm. I picked her up, turned off the kitchen light; momentarily sending us into darkness, turned on the living room light, brought Alice over to the sofa and sat her down beside me. As soon as I sat down she curled into my side so I put my arm around her. I put the TV on, hoping it would calm her a bit. Every time lighting flashed, or thunder struck Alice jumped and whimpered quietly, every time she jumped and whimpered I held her closer and rubbed her back. I saw her smile a little once or twice.

As the thunderstorm slowly went away, and Alice started to fall asleep curled against my side using my rib cage as a pillow my mind started to wander. I watched Alice as she fell asleep, she really was tiny. Both of her hands against one of mine didn't even cover my half my palm. All her features were tiny and fragile. I felt a strange protectiveness over her as she slept, some of the time I saw these guys as family, my little brothers and sisters. I turned off the TV and watched the night sky outside, I've always wondered what happened when everyone else was asleep at night.

It was at least half-an-hour before I heard anything but Alice's deep breathing beside me, I heard a creak at first, then a set of footsteps making their way downstairs. At first I thought it would be Emmett, or Rose trying to sneak up on me, but I was wrong. Little Edward came round the side of the sofa rubbing his eyes, a blanket trailing behind him.

"I had a bad dream," he whispered. I patted the sofa on the other side of me and Edward crawled up onto the sofa and curled up at my free side using my leg as a pillow. I pulled up the blanket and wrapped it around him. Soon, he fell asleep too.

It wasn't long before Rose came down with Nessie.

"Join the party," I said softly, shrugging. She set Nessie on my knee, lifted Edward gently and set him on her knee so his head was still resting on my leg. I used my free arm to make sure Nessie didn't fall. And of course Emmett and Jasper came down stairs as well and joined us on the couch. Jasper snuggled up to his twin sister, and Emmett lay next to him.

**Saturday Morning, Jacob's POV as usual**

I fell asleep at some point during the night, but of course, it wasn't a deep sleep, no, I was slightly conscious of a banging noise coming from the kitchen, but wasn't awake enough to care. Something clattered and I jumped, causing myself of roll off the couch and onto the hard floor below. I groaned, rolled onto my back and looked up. The couch beside me was empty, the Cullens were gone. Could that have been a dream? Nah, my dreams usually involve the Cullens trying to blow something up, or giant 7ft wolves. I once had a dream about the Cullens all grown up; Emmett was super fast and was chasing a bear just out of hibernation for some reason. But it wasn't very logical so I had pushed it from my mind.

I heard laughing coming from the kitchen, but it didn't sound like the Cullens; it sounded more like … Charlie? Why would Charlie be here? I groaned again, slowly got to my feet and dragged myself into the kitchen. Charlie was sitting on a chair at the table, little Nessie on his knee still in her PJ's. Alice, Bella, Jasper and Edward were outside, Emmett was sitting on a chair talking away to Charlie and Rose was at the cooker. Charlie raised his head when I came in and smiled a little as I rubbed my eyes like a child being woken up for their first day of school.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, yawning.

"11pm, you're not that late up," Charlie answered. 11pm, that's not so bad.

"How long you guys been up?" I asked, turning to Emmett.

"Just an hour or so," answered Rose, bringing a plate over to the table, it was full of pancakes. I looked up (Down really, since I'm taller than her) at her surprised. She smiled at the look on my face,

"I didn't know you could cook," I told her. She only smiled.

"Everyone else has eaten," she told me, so I thanked her and took a pancake.

"What happened to your hand kid?" asked Charlie. I looked down at my hand and the bandage thing covering it.

"Oh, um…I fell," I told him and took a bite from the pancake in hope he wouldn't ask any more questions. My hand was less painful today, just a dull ache remained. Lucky for me Charlie didn't ask any more questions about my hand, though I noticed Emmett and Rose smiling at me.

"I'll be back in a moment," I announced, grabbed my bag from where I left it (in front of the sofa) and made my way up stairs. I locked the bathroom door, took a quick shower to get rid of the eggy smell, changed into fresh clothes brushed my teeth and ran back downstairs. I left my bag in front of the couch again and went back into the kitchen. Charlie was standing, getting ready to leave I presume. He handed Nessie to Rose, smiled at me and walked out, just before he left he handed me something, winked and then left. He had handed me a picture, it was a picture of all of us sleeping on the couch. I was in the middle, my head resting on the back of the couch, with Alice curled up at my right side and Nessie on my knee. Rose was on my left; her head resting on my shoulder, Edward was using her knee as a pillow, his legs dangling off the edge of the couch. Emmett was hugging Jasper who was leaning against Alice. I smiled slightly.

"Right, what are we doing today then?" I asked, Emmett shrugged. I looked towards Nessie,

"First things first, you guys need to get ready," I told them and Emmett ran outside to get the other Cullens. Rose, already changed and ready picked up Nessie and went upstairs. Now, what are we going to do today?

20 minutes later the Cullens, and Bella, were lined up at the front door with smiles on their faces. I took Nessie, carrying her favourite wolf toy, from Rose and opened the front door. Then I realised a problem, okay two problems. Firstly, I still hadn't figured out what we were going to do, and secondly, my rabbit can't hold, I did a quick head count, eight people. Then, I announced the worst thing imaginable without thinking it through,

"We're taking a bus."

Seven little faces smiled up at me, brilliant.

We walked to the Bus stop in silence, well, mostly in silence, Emmett, Jasper and Edward were behind me (carrying Nessie), Rose, Alice and Bella, whispering. That's never a good sign. Once we got to the bus stop we didn't have to wait long before a bus came. There was a couple of old people sitting at the front, a few teenagers at the back and the Bus driver. This'll be fun.

"I'm not sitting with you guys," I whispered to Emmett who was behind me, while I paid for eight tickets. The Bus driver's eyes narrowed as he saw the Cullens. Emmett and Jasper sat together, with Edward and Bella behind them, Alice and Rose sat in front of the boys and I sat a few rows behind them all with Nessie on my knee, pretending I didn't know them. Like that was going to work. Maybe it would, for the first two seconds, and then the little old ladies at the front would scold me for not keeping better control of the kids that came on the Bus with me. I shrunk down in my seat as the bus started to move, keeping a hold of Nessie while she giggled uncontrollably, has this kid ever been on a bus before? Seriously, Carlisle and Esme need to take this kid out more if she giggles at four wheeled vehicles. She pointed at a passing car and started banging her hand against the window,

"Doggy, Doggy!" she began shouting. A few of the old people with good hearing turned round. I glanced at them nervously and took Nessie's hand away from the window and turned my back on the window,

"Come on kid," I whispered to her, "be good for Jake, and don't lose that wolf." Nessie just smiled up at me as though she were thinking, _I have _no_ idea what this guy is saying but I'll just smile up at him and he'll get the picture. _

I glanced at the Cullens, and Bella, hoping they weren't hitting teenagers, or shouting at the old people, but they were sitting there like perfect little angels. This wouldn't last long; I just hope they can keep it up til we get there. Hang on, _where _are we going? This is just great,_ I_ don't even know where we're going and I'm the adult here! Says the guy holding a child's bus ticket.

I'm even insulting myself now! If babysitting the Cullens (and Bella) does _this_ to me within two months that I'd hate to find out what it'll do to me within a year.

The Bus stopped, and all the old people slowly got to their feet talking quietly among themselves, until

"WHAT?" an old man asked, "WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING."

"No way!" said Emmett sarcastically. Oh no. I sank lower in my seat. Please don't notice me, please don't notice me. I don't know them, I don't know them.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN?" the man asked, who managed to get up and make his way over to Emmett.

"NOTHING SIR!" Emmett shouted.

"COME ON HENRY," a woman at the steps getting off the bus, "WE'LL MISS THE MAGIC SHOW!"

Henry then walked off the bus, glaring at Emmett on his way out, muttering

"I know you said something sonny." Which made me think, if he's hard of hearing, did he know what he just said? With all the old people off the Bus, gone to see a magic show, there was only the Bus driver, the teenagers at the back, me, the Cullens and Bella.

At the next stop the teenagers got off and a couple of old women got on and decided to sit at the back of the Bus.

Five minutes later they passed me, in the seventh row.

10 minutes later they were finally seated and were chatting quietly among themselves. The Bus driver put down his cup of tea (which he had made while the Women were making their way to a seat) and the Bud started to move again. You know, maybe this bus ride won't be so bad.

There was a crash and I looked up, Emmett had a frying pan in his hand and the Bus driver was slumped in his seat, either unconscious or dead. I really hope he's just unconscious, because I'll have to explain this to the police. I starting to believe every time I say, _maybe this won't be that bad, _or, _maybe I was wrong about these kids, _I just jinx it.

Then I realised that there was no-one driving the Bus. I got up and ran to the front of the Bus completely panicked with Nessie asleep in my arms.

"ARE YOU INSANE?" I shouted at Emmett. Emmett only held the frying pan in one hand, which made him fall over with the weight of it, then he stood up and showed me his hand, his index finger and thumb were about an inch apart and the rest of his fingers were curled up in his hand indicating _a little bit._ **(AN; that's so hard to describe, if anyone can think of a better way to describe it let me know, if you even know what I meant there cause I'm not even sure myself what I was trying to say there reading it over again. Anyways, not my idea, it was on an Advert for **_**the Sorcerer's apprentice**_**, a movie that's out at the moment and is supposed to be pretty good)**

I then looked out the front window and saw that we were driving against the traffic, in other words we were driving on the wrong side of the road, into the traffic. Oh hell. I gave Nessie to Rose, pulled the driver from his seat and took the wheel, and then I remembered that driving a bus was different to driving a car. Rose screamed pointing at a truck which we were about to drive into. I yelled as I quickly served to avoid it.

This was not going well, at all. I tried to calm down, but it wasn't really working out too well.

"WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?" I shouted at no-one in particular.

"DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD FOR A START!" Emmett shouted. Jasper and Edward were busy trying to move the driver and sit him in one of the seats. Alice and Bella were standing behind Rose and Emmett was standing next to me shouting instructions. So I figured I'd listen to the kid, since he knew much more about driving than I did, even though the only think that was going through my mind was, _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

First things first, the Bus was driving too fast, so basically, every few minutes we'd almost crash into another car, or drive on the wrong side of the road to avoid crashing into another car then manage to get that car to crash into the car we were trying to avoid in its panic of a Bus be driven by a teenager with a eight year old shouting instructions coming it's way. So of course naturally they cause a collision, not the one they were trying to avoid (bus and car) but another one! (car and car) Meanwhile Rose, Alice, Bella, Jasper and Edward screamed every time we almost hit a car, Emmett still shouting instructions, _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_ still running through my head and the little old ladies at the back of the bus were shouting,

"WEEEE! THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN THE BUMPER CARS IN DISNEY!" Yeah, crazy world out there. Warning to the kids out there reading this, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

Suddenly Rose screamed.

"What is it Rose? I think I've finally got the hang of this thing, we're not doing so badly," I said, then swerved to the left to avoid a train. Driving on train tracks is so much easier than driving on the road, fewer cars to deal with.

"THERE'S A CAT!" she screamed, pointing. Sure enough there was a cat sitting just about a hundred metres away, licking it's paw. I pushed down hard on the Brakes and the cat saw us but it didn't move out of the way. The Bus stopped and I ran into the doors, forgetting to open them. I fell backwards, Emmett opened them and I walked out, looking like I was drunk. I looked under the Bus and saw the cat very much alive with its paws over its head. Then it looked up, looked at its paws and smiled, I swear the cat smiled. Then it ran out jumped at me, scratched my face and jumped into Emmett's arms and started to purr contently. Blood started to drip down my face but I was in a daze. What the hell just happened?

"Thanks so much for the ride Sonny," the little old lady said, her friends nodding behind her, "We feel 30 years younger now." Then she walked off, forgetting her walking stick and the fact that we were on train tracks.

The Cullens and Bella were all off the bus and sitting on the grassy bank beside us. Alice, Bella, Jasper and Edward were shaking from head to toe, Emmett and Rose were trying to calm them and Nessie was still asleep. She slept through that?

Then I heard the whistle of a train, and I then I remembered the Bus driver. Emmett looked up with a horrified expression so I figured he remembered him too. We ran onto the Bus, grabbed the Bus driver, and jumped of the bus just seconds before the train ran into the Bus, crushing it beneath its wheels. Then I collapsed.

When I woke up The Cullens (and Bella) were sitting on the bank, eating sandwiches, the cat purring contently on Emmett's knee while he stroked it absentmindedly. Nessie was awake and in a police woman's arms, giggling, and I was still lying on the ground, but on my front with my hands behind my back. I was vaguely aware I was wearing handcuffs.

"Jacob?" I stern voice asked. I groaned.

"You're under arrest for high jacking the local transport system, almost killing the driver," the Driver was awake and sitting beside Bella, nodding, "almost killing these kids and three old ladies, kidnapping these kids and destroying the local transport system." The voice was male I and was I pulled to my feet. A police officer was frowning at me.

"I'm under arrest?" I asked. He nodded,

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in court," he continued, "You…." I raised my eyebrows to stop him.

"_I'm _under arrest, me," I said.

"Well, Yes," the police officer replied, looking a little confused. Then I started to laugh. They all looked at me funny, and then I stopped laughing thinking of my dad, what the hell would he think?

"Ah hell," I muttered, then I said to the police officer, "If you're taking me to jail now, take the kids with you, I'm their babysitter. Their parents are out of town and I'm taking care of them for the weekend." The police officer nodded and took me to the car. I got in without any hassle; let him put my seatbelt on. But when he closed the door, I glared at the Cullens and mouthed, _you're dead. _

It was only when they tried to put me into a cell that I started struggling,

"No please no! I promise I'll be good! Don't put me in there! I wasn't the one to knock the driver unconscious, it was Emmett! The kid! The kid did it! I was only trying to save all our lives! I don't wanna be an inmate!" I shouted and tried to struggle from their grip and when that didn't work I tried to hang onto them so they couldn't put me into the Cell without them coming too. The kids just stood and laughed while the police officers tried to get the other police officer out of my grip. Then they figured it was a bad idea to let me off the handcuffs.

"I'm too young to be an inmate!" I shouted, that stopped them.

"How old are you?" one of them asked.

"17," I answered calmly.

They looked at each other and shrugged, "That's old enough for us." Then I started struggling again.

Four hours later they had managed to finally get me into a cell and three police officers were playing charades with the Cullens and Bella. I even joined in after a while.

"FISH!" I shouted out, and the police officer nodded.

"Finding Nemo!" shouted Bella.

"Yes!" the police officer cried out and then it was Bella's turn. Just then Charlie came through the door,

"CHARLIE!" I cried, I'd never been so happy to see someone in my life. Charlie laughed at me,

"What they do this time?" he asked coming over to the bars so I repeated the events, Emmett knocking the bus driver out, me taking the wheel, several collisions, then the train, the cat which Emmett named Sassy, and the police thinking I did all that.

"Let him out," he told the police officers. They stared at him shocked.

"But… you don't believe him do you? That the kids had anything to do with it?" one of them asked,

"Yeah I do, I believe every word, now let him out," replied Charlie. They let me out and I hugged Charlie.

"Thank you!" I cried. Charlie stiffened away after two seconds and I let him go.

"Give him and the kids a ride home," he told the police officers, they nodded,

"And Emmett?" Charlie continued, Emmett turned round, "No more high jacking Buses, got it?" Emmett smiled and nodded.

It was 6:30 by the time we got back. The hole in the wall had sucked out all the heat in the house so it was freezing inside. Rose went upstairs to grab blankets while I made them all dinner while carrying round an infant.

Once we had all eaten we all sat on the sofa together with a huge blanket covering us. Nessie was on my knee, Alice, jasper and Emmett and the cat to one side of me, Edward, Rose and Bella to the other side of me. I flicked on the news and my picture came up on the screen,

"… _and this seventeen year old boy had high jacked this same bus,_" a picture of the crushed bus came up, "_earlier in the day. No-one was hurt but he gave a few people quite a scare,_" A man was standing in front of his car, which had collided with another car, and talking to the camera,

"_The bus just came at me so I panicked and collided with Tom here, I don't think he even knew how to drive a bus!"_

By this point we were all cracking up, and then I remembered I had a criminal record.

"You guys are explaining this to your parents," I told the Cullens. They nodded, but I highly doubted it.

"Off to bed, or we won't go to the zoo tomorrow," I told them. They all jumped up and ran up the stairs shouting,

"The zoo! The zoo!"

Bella was staying over; she'd be sleeping on a spare bed in Alice and Rose's room. Rose had taken Nessie up with her so I turned off the lights and the TV, lay down and closed my eyes. No more buses, no more trains, and definitely no more criminal records. We'd have to buy food for the cat tomorrow as well; since Emmett is keen on keeping the cat I almost killed. Tomorrow will better be better than today.

There was a crash from upstairs,

"EMMETT!" six voices shouted.

I sighed; I have to stop saying stuff like that.

**AN; I didn't intend to offend but if I did, I'm sorry! Hope you liked it, and sorry that it's a bit rubbish. By the way, thanks so much for the comments, I really appreciate them. **


	6. Chapter 6

Smarties

**Ok, beware of this chapter. DO NOT TRY ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS DURING THIS CHAPTER. Ok then, Hope you enjoy it. So sorry this chapter is sooooo late. **

**Jacob's POV**

Finally Halloween was over. It's the first November. I was to babysit the Cullens today and Bella of course. I had a bad feeling about today.

I arrived at the house; Carlisle, Charlie and my dad were just about to leave.

"I have to warn you, Emmett, Jasper and Edward may be on sugar high, just to let you know," said Carlisle as he, dad and Charlie quickly got in the car and drove off.

"Great!" I shouted after them, "Just great, three sugar high kids." I Sighed and went into the house. Rose was sitting on the sofa, reading. Nessie was beside her. I went over to them, wondering why it was so quiet.

I sat down and Rose looked up.

"Oh, Hi Jake, by the way, the others are around here somewhere, you'll probably see them in a moment," she said, continuing to read. Nessie patted the book and Rose began to read aloud.

"So Daisy the duck and Daren the Dog walked home, hoping to never go there again..." Rose read. I stood up and went into the kitchen. Alice and Jasper were sitting on the table; Alice was giving Jasper a makeover. Jasper saw me and looked up.

"Hey Jakie, aren't I pretty?" he asked. He had lipstick all over his face, blush on his forehead, eye shadow on his cheeks, and eye liner on his nose. He had a black eye, It might be black lipstick. I walked out of the kitchen, it was too weird.

"Rose, make sure Jazz gets all that make-up off," I said as I walked by. She nodded and carried Nessie into the kitchen.

Did she just do as she was told? She did! What's going on?

A moment later Edward screamed like a fan girl and ran down the stairs in a pink dress. He too had make-up, though it was done well. He had a wig on so he looked like a little girl. I almost died of laughter. Bella came behind him. They ran to the front door and opened it.

"Like look Bella, It's like no-one!" said Edward in a girly voice, then he grabbed Bella's hand and they ran upstairs again. Ok, that was a bit random.

Spoke too soon. Emmett came down the stairs. He was carrying a kitten, cooing softly.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty," he cooed. He looked up at me.

"Where'd you get the kitten?" I asked. He scowled, and walked off, not looking back. Weird. Normally Emmett would be the more hyper one but he was calm. Even weirder.

I went back into the kitchen. Jasper was sitting in the sink, Rose was wiping the make-up off his face, Alice was jumping up and down on the table and Nessie was spinning on a circle, giggling like mad. I picked her up before she got too dizzy, grabbed Alice off the table and set her down on the floor, handed Nessie to Rose, and grabbed Jasper out of the sink.

"Right, who wants to play duck, duck, goose?" I asked. Alice and Jasper put their hands up, Rose sighed. They sat down in the living room and Alice got up and went round the circle saying,

"Batman, Batman, Batman, Batman, Batman, ROBIN!" she screamed and ran round the circle as Jasper chased her.

"Alice isn't supposed to be duck, duck, goose?" I asked.

"No, Batman, Batman, Robin," she said, sitting down. Right, ok. I walked upstairs and told Edward and Bella what we were playing, they ran downstairs holding hand, giggling like a bunch of girls. I went to find Emmett. He was hugging a tree outside. I walked over to him.

"Hey kid, whatya doin?" I asked. He looked at me.

"I'm trying to get to the top, cause Sassy ran up there," he said. Oh, sassy, the kitten.

"Your cat?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess," he said not looking at me.

"You guess?" I asked, calmly, for now anyway.

"Well, she isn't exactly my cat," he explained.

"What you mean by exactly?" I asked.

"You see she came over to me, all starved and dirty, so I bought her home, fed her, washed her, and played with her. But she ran up the tree and I think she's stuck," he said, trying once more to climb the tree. I looked up. Sassy was on the lowest branch, but being quite short Emmett couldn't reach. But I could. I went over to the branch and picked her up, handing her to the smiling Emmett.

So, he had a soft spot for animals. I should've thought about that before. It would've saved me a whole lot of trouble. Give him a cat and he's happy, no more trouble from him. Brilliant.

He cradled her and told her off. She licked his nose and he laughed, tickling her. He walked back into the house and I followed him. The blinds in the kitchen were down, and the back door was locked, so we went through the front.

Emmett went upstairs, and I walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. I don't think it could be CALLED a kitchen anymore.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" I screamed. Six chocolate covered faces stared at me, all looking innocent. Alice giggled.

The WHOLE kitchen was COVERED in chocolate. The blinds, the chairs, the table, the cooker, the fridge, EVERYTHING. The table was over turned, on its side. The place was a mess, and for once, it wasn't Emmett's fault.

"WELL...ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER MY QUESTION?" I shouted. They just stared at me, not knowing what to say.

"Well, you see, we got bored, so we wanted to melt chocolate, so we did, but it exploded," said Rose. I could see that, the whole microwave was covered in chocolate.

"YOU'RE SUPOSEED TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE!" I screamed at her. She just giggled. She was hyper, they all were.

Alice had a packet of smarties; she put them into the microwave and closed the door. Putting the time to a minute. After about 40 seconds there was a flash from inside the microwave **(AN; this actually does happen if you put Smarties into the Microwave, not that exact time, but it does happen. DO NOT TRY THIS)** I knew what was going to happen. Alice was standing in front of the microwave, in a trance, not noticing that there was smoke coming out of it. I grabbed her out of the way, standing in front of her. At that exact moment, when I stood in front of her, the microwave exploded. **(Please don't try this, I tried once, but it didn't get as far as exploding, but there was a flash, and it would've exploded) **The microwave door flew into the air, hitting my head, Alice, and the others, started to scream. My head started to throb as the burnt smarties flew everywhere, hitting everyone and everything.

Rose, Nessie, Jasper, Edward, Bella and me were covered in smarties. Alice was clean since she was standing behind me, but her face was covered in chocolate still. I heard the phone and went to get it.

"Hello?" I said, hoping it was Carlisle, saying he was going to be late.

"Jacob, Listen, We might be a little later than we expected," Yessss, they were going to be late, "the traffic is bad, but we'll be home in around," he paused, "10-15 minutes?"

10 – 15 minutes, to clean the whole kitchen, and the kids?!

"Sure," I said, before hanging up. I ran into the kitchen, picked up Nessie, Alice and Bella, ran up the stairs and ran a bath, put them in, and ran back downstairs. I started cleaning the kitchen in a hurry, running up and down, making sure Nessie, Bella and Alice were ok. Once they were clean, they got dried and dressed themselves. Then I told Jasper and Edward to take a bath. Rose could get a shower afterwards. I finished cleaning the kitchen and went into the garage to find tools so that I could fix the microwave. Edward and Jasper came back down, fully clothed, and helped me. Rose went to get a shower, and went to find Emmett. Edward and Jasper helped me find the tools, and helped me fix the microwave. I heard the car pull up just as we finished fixing the microwave. Edward and Jasper ran to put the tools away, just as Rose came downstairs.

Carlisle, Billy, Harry and Charlie came in the door. They didn't suspect a thing.

**Sorry, this chapter is rubbish, and really late. You guys can kill me later, once this fanfic is finished. The next chapter won't be as late, and much better. Loads of stuff will be happening. I'll give you a sneak peek.**

Alice POV

Jake did NOT just say that! Oh she was going to get it, and he was going to get it good. All I need is Emmett, a frying pan, face-paints, and a evil cat, willing to kill. Ok, maybe not the cat, but I've always wanted a cat. Keep your head in the game Alice! Lol, high school musical. Alice!

Ok, face-paints, Emmett, Frying pan, got them all. Let the fun begin.

"Oh Jakie..."

**Can you guess? O yea, one more thing. No Bella, Edward will be by himself. Hope you enjoy it, when I get it up.**

**Please review. Sorry again about the lateness. You can kill me later, but I plan to become a vampire at 16 so please don't. Lol.**

**Chrissie.**


	7. Chapter 7

Never insult Alice

**Jacob's POV**

Great. Dad just informed me that I have to baby-sit Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Edward and Nessie. Bella was away with Charlie to see Renee. Her mum. Edward will be upset, they're never apart. Ah well. Won't know til I get there, I can't tell the future. I arrived as Carlisle, Billy and Harry drove off. Shouting things to me from their car.

"Edward is pretty upset, try to keep him amused!" shouted Carlisle.

"Emmett has Sassy, he won't be much trouble!" Shouted Billy. I just waved, and drove on. Edward would be upset, Bella was gone. His Bella, his best friend. Emmett had Sassy; he won't be much trouble, great. One down, four to go.

Emmett was sitting on the sofa with Jasper. Alice was upstairs, probably trying to put make-up on. Nessie was sitting on the floor, playing with a spoon, and Edward was sitting in the corner, rocking and whispering to himself,

"She'll be back, she'll be back, she'll be back," over and over to himself. It was sorta funny, but I held back my laughs. I sat down and watched the game with the boys.

After a while Edward moved. HE MOVED! WOW! Anyway he moved and came to sit on the sofa. He curled up, hugging his knees. He watched the game for a while, but got bored and let his eyes wander. So far no-one was winning, it was a tie.

Alice came bouncing into the room.

"Hey short stuff," I said. She glared at me, her face turning red.

"Excuse me?" she said, her voice rising to a note that was off the scale.

"I called you short stuff, cause you're short, cute, but short," I replied. Smiling to myself, I thought of that, I'm proud. She glared at me some more and left. I had a bad feeling about this.

**Alice POV**

Jake did NOT just say that! Oh she was going to get it, and he was going to get it good. All I need is Emmett, a frying pan, face-paints, and a evil cat, willing to kill. Ok, maybe not the cat, but I've always wanted a cat. Keep your head in the game Alice! Lol, high school musical. Alice! Back to my plan. Hehe.

Ok, face-paints, Emmett, Frying pan, got them all. Let the fun begin.

"Oh Jakie..." I began. I walked into the living room, where Jacob, Emmett, Jasper and Edward were sitting, watching the game. He grunted.

"I have something for you," I said sweetly, walking towards him, winking to Emmett and Jasper. They caught on and went into the kitchen. Edward looked up, but made no signs of moving. Ah well, he'll miss out on the fun. I grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him into the kitchen. I sat him down on a chair and Jasper tied him up. He looked at us confused, but he was tired, so he didn't really care.

Emmett had a frying pan in his hand; he was looking at Jake, waiting. He would get his chance.

"Jasper, get the drugs," I said, smiling evilly. Jasper smiled back and ran off to Carlisle's study. He came back with a syringe and a gooey liquid inside. I smiled. Jake was starting to wake up slightly, watching the game always makes him tired. Hehe.

"Alice, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" he screamed. He began to struggle, trying to get away. No way was he ruining my fun. He would get it, and get it good. And it was going to happen MY way.

"Jazz," I said looking up at him, trying to hold Jake down. Jasper moved forward and stuck the syringe into Jake's arm. He cried out in pain, but it was worth it. We were only giving him sleeping drugs, he'd be fine. Or at least I think it was sleeping drugs. Ah well, he'll be fine.

Jake kept struggling, it wasn't working. Emmett looked at me and I nodded. Emmett came right up to Jake and smacked him on the head with the frying pan. He fell unconscious. Now...Let the fun begin.

**Jacob's POV**

Uhhhhh. My head hurts so much. What did they do to me? I opened my eyes to see Alice giggling, Jasper laughing so hard he was on the floor, Emmett sitting on the ground pointing at me, with Sassy on his lap, and Edward staring at me, trying to hold back a smile. He mouth twitched and he smiled. Then he began to laugh, and was soon on the floor laughing along with Jasper. What was so funny?

There was a syringe in my arm. I pulled it out. THEY DRUGGED ME?!

WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?!

I glared at them. Alice stopped giggling, Jasper and Edward got up, and Emmett stopped pointing. I stood up and when to look in the nearest mirror. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward followed me.

I stared at my reflection. I had lipstick sprawled all over my face, eye shadow on my cheeks, Blush on my eyes, mascara on my eye-brows, Foundation all over my face and eye liner across my forehead, spelling out "Loswer". It's supposed to be Loser, I think.

"ALICE!" I shouted and they ran in different directions. I ran after Alice just as the phone rang. I'll get her later. I picked up the phone. It was Carlisle.

"Hello?" I said down the phone.

"Jacob, listen, I'm sorry, but could you take care of the kids overnight? We're stuck in traffic up at lake crescent, so we're stopping here for the night, and we can't call a babysitter at this late hour, and you're there already," said Carlisle, a little hope in his voice.

"So you want me, to stay here, overnight, with a bunch of kids," I said.

"Yes, if you don't mind," he said. I took a deep breath. Stay calm Jake, don't lose your temper.

"HELL NO," I shouted, so much for keeping calm, "I'VE GOT MAKE-UP ALL OVER MY FACE, I'VE BEEN DRUGGED, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING NEXT. NO WAY WILL I STAY HERE WITH A BUNCH OF MENTAL KIDS THAT KNOW HOW TO DRUG PEOPLE!"

There was a silence. Carlisle took a deep breath.

"What do you mean they drugged you?" he asked calmly. Oh yeah, he was a doctor, he must have drugs in the house somewhere.

"I MEAN I WOKE UP WITH A SYRINGE IN MY ARM," I shouted. Carlisle took another deep breath.

"Put Alice on the phone please," he said, his voice shaking. I gave the phone to a shaking Alice.

"Yes daddy?" she asked quietly. I heard him screaming at her from the other end of the phone. Her eyes were watering, at the brink of crying. I felt sorry for her.

She handed me back the phone, and giggled. What was up with these kids? First they cry, and then giggle. Weird.

"Hello?" I said. Carlisle was trying to calm down.

"Jacob, I know I'm asking a lot, but could you please take care of them tonight," he said, his voice still shook.

"Sure," I said, out of fear. I've never seen, or heard, him out of control like that, it freaked me out. He sighed, thanked me, and hung up.

Alice was in a fit of giggles beside me.

"What's so funny?" I ask her, playfully. I picked her up and swung her round. She giggled even more, and pointed to the door. I carried her to the door and opened it. There was a man with a camera standing there. He took a picture and ran away. Alice giggled even harder. I glared after him. I had to get these guys back for that. Now my picture would be either on the internet, or in the newspaper, depending on where that guy was from.

Great, just great. I closed the door and walked into the living room, setting Slice down on the sofa. She was giggling so much that she fell off and onto the floor. I began to laugh then. She suddenly stopped giggling and gave me a look which made me stop laughing, and make sure I never laughed at her again. I saw a glint of black/red in her eyes then; it freaked me out so I moved away from her and went upstairs to find Edward, Jasper and Emmett. Nessie was at the foot of the stairs, sleeping. I picked her up, carried her upstairs, and set her in her crib to sleep.

I walked into Emmett's room.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I heard someone ask. I saw Emmett sitting on the bed with Sassy on his lap. She was asleep, purring, and clawing his knee. He stroked her, not noticing the tear in his jeans. He was staring at me, on eyebrow raised. For the first time in his life, he actually was acting like a nine year old. Wow. Normally he would act like a three year old and Edward and Bella would act like nine year olds.

"Hey kid," I said, knocking on the door, and peeking in. He smiled a little. I sat down on the bed, he looked down at Sassy.

"What's up?" I asked, he seemed down.

He laughed, and said, "the sky," I laughed along with him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the sky is up," I said, still laughing, "Seriously, though, what's up?"

He frowned a little, and looked down at Sassy before he answered me.

"You know they way me, Edward and Jasper are brothers?" he asked, I nodded, wondering where this was going, "Well, we aren't really brothers. You see, Carlisle adopted us, so we aren't related, but the others don't know, only me and rose."

"What's the problem with that?" I asked. I didn't understand, I never knew they were adopted, but then again they don't tell me much. I still didn't see the problem.

"I think I like Rose," he said, "not as a sister though."

Oh. He liked her.

"There's no problem there buddy, she's not related to you. It's perfectly normal to like girls, even in that way, why you so down kiddo?" I asked. He smiled a little and said,

"Carlisle and Esme don't know," he said, looking down again.

"Are none of you guys related?" I asked.

He sighed, "Yeah, me and Edward are cousins, Jasper is my brother, Rose and Alice are third cousins and Nessie is Edward's sister." He said.

Oh.

After a while we went back downstairs. I gathered them up into the living room, so I could keep an eye on them. Nessie was awake and now sitting on the floor trying to bend a spoon.

"When papa coming home?" asked Alice, looking over at me while she and Jasper were trying to figure out how to work the wii.

"Tomorrow," I replied.

"But what bout overnight?" she asked, a look of confusion on her face.

"I gotta stay here kid," I replied, not that I wanted to stay here, no, I'm sure loads of 17 year old kids would simply _love_ to stay here overnight and take care of a bunch of mental kids how tend to blow things up.

"YAY, SLEEPOVER!" screamed Alice. Rose looked up from the books she was reading and sighed. Jasper finally got it to work and joined in Alice's sleepover dance. Emmett was cradling Sassy, and Nessie began to cry. I jumped up and cradled her. Emmett came over, took Nessie off me, sat he down on the sofa and set the sleeping Sassy beside her. She stopped crying at once and began to giggle at the sleeping cat. Why couldn't I have thought of that? And what's so funny about a sleeping cat?

I got up and started to make the dinner for the kids, and myself. Jasper came in and said,

"The wii doesn't like me." I wonder why?

"What did you do?" I said, sighing.

"Nothing but it won't work for me, but it works for Nessie, look," he said, pointing to the sleeping Nessie. I went closer. They were playing the Wii fit, and had gained enough points for that weird balance game where you had to sit still. Emmett had put Nessie onto the board and won, mostly because Nessie never moved when she was asleep. Then Jasper had a turn, but couldn't keep still.

"SEE!" he screamed.

"Jazz, you're supposed to stay still," I said, laughing.

"Oh," he said.

Uhh, this was going to be a long night.

**Ok, I know I haven't updated for a long, long time, and I'm sorry. But I've been very busy, you see, I'm writing a book and it takes up a lot of my time, so again, I'm sorry. **

**And I'm sorry I left it there, this chapter was supposed to be the whole night, but I'm stuck, any suggestions on what they could do overnight?**

**I haven't had any reviews in ages, so I'll finish the sleepover, but if I don't get at least five reviews for this one, and the other one, I'll only do one more chapter. It will be them all grown up, along with some memories. I'll probably get the next chapter up next week. I think I may have lost my readers, and I need to know if I have or not. **

**Again sorry this chapter took so long, and please, please review, it would make my day. (Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please review) *sad face, and puppy dog eyes***

**Thanks a million (remember *sad face, puppy dog eyes* review)**


	8. Chapter 8

Sleepover 

**Jacob's POV**

Uhhhhh, this was going to be a long night. Nessie was refusing to eat. Everyone else had finished, but Nessie refused.

"Come on kid, eat," I said, trying to amuse her and feed her at the same time, whizzing the spoon around her head, she just began to cry. Awwww Come on, I've had a bad enough day as it is, don't give me a headache kid!

Rose came over, took the spoon off me, and tried to feed Nessie. She stopped crying, and ate!

"WHAT?! Awwww come on," I said, going into the kitchen fed up. Rose smiled. WHY DID SHE SMILE? WHAT HAVE THEY GOT PLANNED? Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Edward were upstairs.

Sue was leaving Seth and Leah with me, not overnight, but just for an hour or so.

I heard a crash from upstairs, what ARE they doing up there? I went up to stairs to find Carlisle's study door open. I went in and saw Edward tied to a chair, unconscious, Alice underneath the table, Emmett sitting in Carlisle's chair and Jasper putting a syringe into Edward's arm. THEY WERE DRUGGING HIM?!

It's bad enough they drugged me, but a three year old?!

"YOU'RE DRUGGING EDWARD?!" I shouted, outraged. Jasper dropped the Syringe and ran out the door. Alice started to cry and so did Emmett. I sighed and went over to them both. I picked up Alice and cradled her, Emmett, seeing that crying was a very girly thing to do, stopped and went downstairs.

"I'm not mad," I whispered to Alice, going over to Carlisle's Drug cabinet. There was one bottle open, the one they gave Edward, it had the label "Glucose" on it. Pure sugar, great.

"Hey," I whispered in a playful tone, "You know what you gave Edward?" She shook her head.

"Pure sugar, he'll be hyper all night. Wanna have some fun?" I asked, she stopped crying and started to giggle.

"Right, when he wakes up, he'll he hyper. So..." Alice saw where I was going and started to laugh evilly. Now all we had to do was wait for Edward to wake.

When Edward woke he was as hyper as Emmett was when he had the paper.

_I opened the bedroom door and found them all awake. Edward and Bella were holding hands jumping on the bed, Emmett was eating paper, jasper was singing "London bridge is falling down" whilst sitting on the computer, Rose was sitting on a chair watching them and Alice was missing along with Renesmee._

"_DON'T EAT PAPER!" I shouted at Emmett. I went over to him, picked him up and sat him down on the naughty chair. I grabbed Jasper from the computer and sat him in the cot; I grabbed Edward and Bella and sat them on the floor. I picked up Rose and sat her on the naughty chair too._

"_What did I do?" she asked, outraged._

"_You sat and watched them," I answered. I ran out of the room and looked for Alice and Renesmee, or Nessie as I like to call her. I found them in the bathroom. Alice was putting make-up all over little Nessie. She looked up, saw me and smiled._

"_Nessie look pretty now," she said smiling with delight. I sighed and picked them both up. Nessie giggled as I carried her into the room. I walked in and saw Emmett eating paper again, Jasper sitting on the computer and Edward and Bell running around saying "I love you," to each other. Rose was the only one who stayed where she was. That I was not thankful for._

"_You could help if you want," I said to Rose as I tried to gain control once more. _

"_Nope, it's way too much fun watching you anyway," she said laughing. I put Nessie in the cot, sat Alice in her playpen, grabbed the paper off Emmett who insisted on eating it,_

_  
"NO MY PAPER, EAT YOUR OWN!" he shouted. I let go of it and tried to move Jasper instead. He clung onto the computer for dear life. _

"_NO, MY 'PUTER, I WON'T LEAVE YOU!" he shouted. I gave up on him and moved onto Bella and Edward._

"_Bella, come here a moment please," I said bending down her height, hoping she'd hear me over the racket behind me._

"_NO!" she screamed. She glared at me and continued to run around Edward saying "I love you"_

_I sighed and went over to Rose. I'll give you £10 if you get the paper off Emmett?" I offered. Rose smiled and took it. She went over to him and screamed in his ear,_

_  
"MY PAPER, LET GO," Emmett, terrified let go of the paper and went into shock. His eyes her wide and fearful, he didn't move, blink so do anything. He kept still, his hands still up near his mouth. Jasper, also in shock, fell off the computer and I ran over just in time to catch him. He too stayed as still as a statue. Bella and Edward, unaffected by this circled the now screaming Alice saying "Bella and Edward up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."_

_I sat Jasper beside Emmett, and went over to calm Alice who was also in shock. She was crying and throwing things. I dodged a rattle, several blocks, a cuddly lion and a mobile before I got to her. I bent down to her height but she continued to throw things. _

"_Alice..." I started, but she threw a block at my face. My nose started to bleed. I grabbed Nessie and took her downstairs. I sat her on the sofa with her favourite toy, her toy wolf. She hugged it and giggled with delight._

Edward got up and ran down the stairs. Oh boy. Alice giggled and ran after him.

"Edward, go get Emmett," Alice sang. I ran down after them. Edward was running around in circles laughing his head off.

"Edward, please calm down," I said, but it didn't work, he just ran outside. We all ran after him. We couldn't find him anywhere. Alice looked up and screamed, and then pointing to the roof she shouted,

"EDWARD, DON'T JUMP!"

I looked up, sure enough there was Edward standing on the roof, peering down. How the HELL did he get up there?!

"EDWARD, GET DOWN HERE, wait, NO EDWARD STAY THERE," I shouted, reminding myself to tell him not to jump, stay there. Edward giggled.

"ME IS COMIN DOWN," he screamed, then he jumped.

"EDWARD NO," I shouted, throwing myself forward to catch him, but I knocked into something. I fell back, rubbing my head. Someone screamed.

"EDWARD?!" I shouted, I couldn't see, it must've hit me in the eye. I could hear the others laughing. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY LAUGHING?! THEIR BROTHER IS DEAD! I could finally see, I looked to where Alice was pointing. There was a trampoline, that's what I banged into, and that's what saved Edward. He was jumping up and down on the trampoline, giggling happily. I saw Emmett out of the corner of my eye, hands on his knees, bending over, like he just lifted heavy weights. Oh.

Emmett put the trampoline there, Emmett saved Edward. He got up and smiled as he saw Edward jumping up and down, safe. I smiled. He really wasn't that bad, for a kid an all. I went forward and caught Edward. I carried the struggling Edward back inside. I tied him to a chair and told Rose to watch over him, no way were we letting him go until he was sane again, not that he ever was sane. Kids, seriously, they drive you up the wall.

My advice, never ask me to babysit, ever.

After a while Edward calmed down a bit, so we let him go, and locked him in a room instead. Rose was playing with Nessie, Jasper and Emmett were playing chess and Alice was helping me make the dinner. Sue left Leah and Seth off just there now, they're playing chess with Emmett and Jasper. Once tea was ready I called the kids to the table, Leah went to unlock Edward. He came stumbling into the room, still slightly hyper. This was going to be a long night.

After the washing up, Leah and Seth went home. Rose went with them. Brilliant, now what am I going to do if Nessie won't eat. it was around six thirty. Alice came over to me and gave me a book.

"What you want me to do with it?" I asked her.

"Read it, duh. I'm only five and I can't read yet, Jasper can't either, well, not very well, it would take ages, but you can read," she said, looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"What about Emmett?" I said.

"He won't read it to me, he's busy," she said, folding her arms behind her back, looking at the ground.

"Ok then, grab a pillow an I'll read it to you," I said, making my way over to the sofa. I sat Nessie on my knee while Alice and Jasper went to get a pillow to sit on. They both sat cross-legged on their pillows on the floor. Even Emmett got a pillow and did the same; he dragged Edward along with him. Once they all was seated I started to read.

"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle," I said.

"What's his name?" asked Alice.

"Uhhhhh....." What is his name, "Beast," I said.

"What kind of name is that?!" shouted Edward, still hyper from before.

"Do you want me to read it to you of not?" I asked. They all nodded and kept quiet.

"Anyway, although he had everything a person could want....."

"Bet he had no Bella," said Edward, I looked at him, "Sorry, Jakie," he said.

"he had no love in his heart..."

"See, no Bella," said Edward, I continued, ignoring him.

"One winter's night, an old woman came to the castle, begging the prince for shelter from the cold. In return for his kindness, she offered him a single, perfect rose..."

"Why would anyone want a rose?" asked Emmett.

"It's supposed to be for your first love," I explained.

"I NEED A ROSE, GET ME A ROSE JAKE, POOR BELLA DON'T GOT ONE!" screamed Edward. Nessie began to cry.

"Shhh," I said, trying to calm her, "be back in a moment," I said. I got up and put Nessie to bed. She dropped off to sleep within a matter of moments. Then I got a plastic rose from one of Esme's vases and brought it downstairs and gave it to Edward.

"Here, now no more yelling, ok?" Edward nodded and I went back to the story, by this rate I'd never get it finished.

"Disgusted by her rags,"

"Good on him," muttered Emmett. I looked at him,

"What?! Wouldn't you be disgusted too?!" he said. I went back to the story.

"The prince sneered at the rose and turned the poor woman away. "Don't be fooled by appearances," she warned him," I said, putting a voice on the parts which needed them. Alice giggled.

""There is beauty to be found within all things." Then in a flash, the woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a lovely enchantress! As punishment for his selfishness, the enchantress tuned the prince into a hideous beast, the castle into a dark fortress and the servants into household objects,"

"Then she wasn't so lovely then, was she?" asked Alice.

"No," I replied, "She wasn't lovely." I went back to the story.

"Before she left, she gave the prince two gifts; a magic mirror that allowed him to see the outside world, and the rose, which would only live until his twenty first birthday.

"If you learn to love and earn her love in return before the last petal of the rose has fallen," said the enchantress, "the spell will be broken. If not, you will remain a beast forever!"

A few years passed, one day, in a village not far from the castle, a young girl named Belle was crossing the town square. Bella loved to read, and as usual, she had her nose in a book. A handsome but conceited Gaston watched her. Gaston admired Bella almost as much as he admired himself,

"She is the girl I am going to marry," he declared. When Belle got home her father, Maurice greeted her excitedly.

"I've just finished my latest invention!" he exclaimed. "I hope it works."

"Of course it will," Bella reassured him, "I'm sure it will win first prize at the fair!"

That afternoon Maurice hitched his invention to his horse, Philippe, and set off for the fair. Maurice and Philippe became lost as they rode through the forest. Suddenly they heard the howling of wolves! The frightened horse reared up in alarm, sending poor Maurice flying through the air," I said, "Why don't we finish it there?"

"No No, go on, please Jake, more, more," said Alice, jumping up and down excitedly. Emmett and Edward had fallen asleep.

"Ok, just a bit more," I said. She giggled in delight.

Half an hour later I had gotten to a scary part, well, for a little kid it was scary. It had taken me half an hour because Alice kept interrupting me.

"The villagers cried out in fright when they saw the beast in the mirror.

"That beast is dangerous!" Gaston shouted, "I say we go to the castle and get rid of him before he harms anyone!"

Belle tried to stop them, but it was no use. Soon the angry crowd was storming the Beast's castle. As Gaston ran upstairs to search for the Beast, the villagers broke into the dining hall but Beast's loyal servants were ready and waiting to attack. The villagers were no match for the pitchers, clocks, footstools and brushes. Soon they turned and fled from the castle in defeat. Meanwhile, Gaston had found the beast, and chased him onto the roof.

"Get up and fight!" Gaston taunted. But ever since Belle had left the castle, the Beast had lost interest in living. He didn't want to fight," I looked up to see Alice with her knees curled up at her chest, fear in her eyes. I closed the book, and went over to her. I picked her up and held her close, whispering to her,

"Shhh, it's only a book. Wanna know the ending, the spell is broken, and Belle and the Beast get married," I whispered. She nodded and smiled a little. I carried her up to bed. I set her down and waited for her to fall asleep, then I went back downstairs grabbed a blanket, tided up a little and lay down on the sofa, ready to go to sleep.

At around one I heard a little voice.

"Jakie, Jakie, wake up, the Beast story scared me, Jake," it said. I woke up and saw Alice, eyes wide with fear.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked. She looked around nervously,

"The beastie was under my bed," she whispered.

"Ok, ok. Climb in," I said, and moved over so she could sleep beside me. She climbed in and went to sleep.

**Esme's POV**

I got in around seven; the boys were already there, standing over the couch. Jacob was sleeping there. I closed the door as quietly as I could and went over to the couch. Alice was sleeping there too. Jacob had one arm over Alice and the other behind the pillow. Alice was curled up, holding Jacob's hand. How sweet. The boys had taken a picture and showed it to me. Cute.

**Ok, hope this chapter was ok. I had writers block, so sorry. But a got a death threat in one of my reviews, so it cleared my writers block. Not going to mention who wanted to kill me (Ahem, Klutzerella), but she can't kill me, she doesn't know where I live, but I know where she lives, *evil laugh*. Joking Klutzerella, or am I?**

**Btw if you haven't read her stories, read them, they're amazing. AND, also Tamara AKA. Caption McCheese (Sorry if I didn't spell it right) stories are amazing too. And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Nightmare**

**Hello. I know I haven't updated in a while but this chapter took a while. And I have to add this in, Thanks to Klutzerella and Tamara AKA CaptionMcCheese for all the help. You guys are great. And thanks to anyone who reviewed, I love reviews, loads and loads. Ok, getting slightly hyper here, but oh well. My hyperness levels will increase whilst writing this chapter. As they always do when I write for this fan fiction. I'm blabbering aren't I? Is that even in the right context? Oh well, Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please**** please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please review. It would make my day. And yes, I did cheat, I copied and pasted, and I'm proud of it. Anywayz, review, please. And Klutzerella, I don't need any more death threats thank you, lol. Here is the next chapter, **_**btw sorry for the long Authors note, and yes, I bet some of you will just skip right over this and ignore my pleads and pleases. That is why this bit is underlined, so you read it.**_

**Jacob's POV**

I woke up, Alice was lying beside me. I had one arm over her, and one arm under the pillow. Alice was hugging my hand with two of her tiny hands. I saw a note left for me on the coffee table. It was from Esme and Carlisle. They had left pancake mix for me and the monsters and they had gone out for breakfast. There was also a photo; it was of me and Alice sleeping, with her hugging my hand ECT… How embarrassing. **(An; AHHHHHH IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE)** I got up, careful not to wake Alice and went into the kitchen and began making the pancakes. The kids smelt them and came into the kitchen in their PJ's. Rose carried Nessie downstairs, who was still half asleep. They sat down at the table and I got plates out. I only made one batch; if they wanted more I would make more.

"Jakie, I wanna help," said Alice, grabbing the pancake mix and pouring it into the blender.

"NO!" I shouted but it was too late, she pressed the button and pancake mix went everywhere, Emmett had grabbed Nessie and held her up in front of him, so he wouldn't get hit. We were all covered in pancake mix. Alice frowned and said,

"Whoopsy," then she walked off, going upstairs. I grabbed her before she could even reach the kitchen door.

"No way missy," I said. I grabbed Nessie as well and put them into the bathtub. I grabbed a set of clothes for each of them.

"Rose you can take a shower in the other bathroom, the boys can wait for a moment. Emmett you can take a shower after Rose," I said. Edward was giggling in delight; he licked his hands and ate the pancake mix. He was sure going to be sick tomorrow. I got the girls washed and dressed, and the same with the boys. Then I cleaned up the kitchen and made more pancakes.

"Jakie, when is Daddy and Mommy coming home?" Asked Alice. I got down to her height and said,

"Soon sweet pea, soon."

And they'd better be home soon. Just then Emmett came running down the stairs.

"JACOB BLACK, WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE. WITH. SASSY?!" Emmett screamed, running towards me. I backed away.

"Jasper, get the drugs!" Shouted Alice. Jasper ran up the stairs. Alice and Edward stood in front of me, protecting me from Emmett.

"Thanks," I whispered into their ears, they smiled. Jasper came back downstairs with a needle, he stuck it into Emmett's arm, Emmett fell to the ground.. Jasper injected Emmett with the drugs and moved back.

"Let's see that bottle Jazz," I said to him, he gave me the bottle from where the drug came from. On the side it said "Glucose, twice as fast" You have GOT to be kidding me?! TWICE AS FAST?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Just then Emmett recovered. Oh, that's what it meant by twice as fast. Emmett suddenly ran out the door. Great. Alice, Jasper, Edward and Rose ran after him. Nessie was in her high chair, giggling.

"Bye bye," she said, and waved. I picked her up and went after Emmett. They were up a tree, talking. THEY WERE UP A FLAMING TREE?! Nessie pointed to them and shouted,

"HIGH HIGH, ME GO UP, ME GOES UP."

"Shhhhh kid, you're bursting my ear drums," I said. But she just continued to shout up at them. I turned my back for a second, turned back round and they were gone. I TURN MY BACK FOR ONE BLINKIN SECODN AND THEY DISSAPERAR! WHY?! Why must this always happen to me?! Why not someone else, anyone else. I went back into the house, they wouldn't have gotten far, they either went into the house, or ran off somewhere. Either way I get some peace for a while. Guess again. No, they come running downstairs in Indian costumes, Edward with a needle in his hand and Jasper with a bottle in his hand. Rose grabbed Nessie off me and changed her into a Indian costume as well. Emmett and Alice grabbed me, tied me up, and started throwing questions at me.

"Where were you last night?!"

"Where were you at 12:25 Sunday morning?!"

"Why were you there?!"

"Where are our parents and what have you done with them?!

"WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING?!

Easy, you won't give me time to answer, that's why. I didn't answer any of their questions, so they got frustrated and jabbed me with the needle.

"Look, it's not sugar it's that other stuff," said Jasper, showing me the bottle. On the side it said "Calpol"

"Jazz, this is Calpol, it can't do anything to me," I said laughing at their attempt.

"Fine, I'll get something else," he said and stomped off. He came back with another bottle; they put some of the gooey liquid into the needle and injected me with it. I didn't see what it was. But boy did it stink!

The next thing I remember was Alice running in the door with something in her hands, colourful things.

**Rose's POV**

Emmett can be Evil sometimes. We had drugged Jake, who was now unconscious and Alice had just ran in the door with Fireworks in her hands. Emmett took them of her, dumped them in the kitchen sink and set them alight. I think they were supposed to hit Jake, but instead they went flying out the window and hit our neighbour's house. Their house went up in flames, Whoops. We all panicked. What on earth do we do? They had just come down the path which leads to their home, saw it and fainted. Well, Mrs. Jamerson fainted, but Mr Jamerson looked towards our house, in which we were all standing at the window, frozen, staring at the house, and yelled,]

"DAMN KIDS, YOU BLEW UP MY HOUSE!" we ducked and ran upstairs. Emmett had a plan, we would run. I grabbed Nessie and put her in a coat. Alice and Edward grabbed their shoes and put them on. Just then there was a knock on the door. Jasper went over to the window to see who it was.

"Police," he whispered. What were we going to do? We all panicked. Emmett was the one who kept a cool head.

"Climb out the window as soon as the police are inside, I'll meet you at the corner, then we'll go into town," said Emmett. We all stood near the window. Jasper was holding Alice's hand, I was holding Edward's hand and Nessie was clinging to my back as if her life depended on it. Emmett crept downstairs.

We heard the police make their way into the house.

**Jake's POV**

Uhhhhh, My head fells like lead. And I can't move because the little monsters tied me up. Hey, why are two policemen looking down at me? And why the hell is Emmett on the stairs?

"Well, well. Look what we have here," said the taller of the two.

"A drunk tied to a chair," said the other, laughing.

"I'm no drunk, and I not stupid enough to tie myself to a chair," I snapped. They just laughed while I struggled to get out of the ropes. One of them got down to my height and said,

"Then who tied you up sunshine?" he asked, laughing.

"The little monsters tied me up, drugged me and ran away," I replied. Well, all apart from Emmett.

"We don't see any little monsters," said the other.

"He's over there!" I shouted, they looked round, but Emmett had stolen their handcuffs and ran off.

"There's o-one there," said the tallest. Well, no, not anymore, but if you had looked over towards the stairs when you came in, this would be a different story.

"Right, we got a complaint from your neighbours, their house had been blown up, and they found fireworks in the wreckage, once the fire brigade put of the fire," one of them said. WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO?!

"IT WASN'T ME, I DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE!" I shouted.

"Oh, so you broke in," said one of them, writing all this down.

"NO, I WAS BABYSITTING, AND THE KIDS RAN OFF SOMEWHERE, DRUGGED ME, AND TIED ME UP! IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!" I shouted. They just looked at each other, picked up the chair with me on it and dumped me and the chair in the back of their police car. You have GOT to be kidding me. I am NOT going to jail. You hear me! NOT GOING!

I shouted all the way to the police station. They didn't even bother going to the sergeant or asking me my name, they just dumped me in a cell with two other people, who were very large and looked like they could kill me with one blow.

"Ha ha very funny, now get me out of here!" I said, the policemen were just laughing at me as the other two prisoners advanced on me.

"COME ON, IT WASN'T ME IT WAS EMMETT CULLEN!" I shouted.

"That's what they all say, "it wasn't me, it wasn't me!" said one of the policemen putting on a poor imitation.

"Come on, I'm only a kid, I'm not legally allowed in jail!" I said. They just laughed.

"Really, and how old might you be?" one of the police officers asked.

"17," I replied.

"That's old enough for us," they said, laughing. It was worth a try.

"Here, kid, you're allowed one phone call," said a police officer after about 20 minutes. Thank god, I have one phone call. I'll call Billy, he can get me out of here.

"Hello?"

"DAD!" I yelled down the phone.

"Jacob, where are you?"

"I'm......I'm.........maybe in jail," I said, quietly.

"YOU'RE WHERE?!"

"Dad, listen, it wasn't me, it was the kids, they blew up their neighbour's house and can you_ please_ get me out of here, my cellmates look as if they can kill me with one blow," I pleaded. Billy sighed.

"Ok then, But I'm not pleased Jacob, we'll be having a little talk when we get home," he said.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" I shouted down the phone with delight. Dad sighed and hung up.

"HA!" I shouted in the policeman's face, and walked back into the cell.

Billy came a few hours later.

"WHAT TOOK YOU SOO LONG? IM GOING MAD IN HERE!" I screamed at him, "Ohh, butterfly," I said as a butterfly went past the window. The policemen grabbed me and dragged me out of the cell.

"What happened?" asked Dad.

"I already explained. They tied me up. Drugged me. And ran away. Blew up the neighbours' house. Stole their handcuffs," I said, pointing towards the policemen who brought me here, who were looking for their handcuffs, "and are now missing."

_**Meanwhile**_

**No-one's POV**

The town was on fire. People were running for safety, but they didn't get very far. Little kids in Indian costumes dragged them back, tied them up and started dancing round the fire.

"That's the last of the fireworks," said Jasper, joining in the Dancing.

"I'll go get more, the town hall is still standing," said Alice as she ran off. Emmett nodded approvingly. Edward, Rosalie, Jasper and Nessie were dancing round the fire, shouting,

"DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA." Emmett, dressed as the chief Indian, was sitting on a sofa they stole from one of the houses, watching the dancers and shouting at the prisoners if they talked. All the prisoners were dressed as cowboys; they even stole a few horses as well, to make it all look real. Alice came back with more fireworks, set them alight, blew up the town hall and joined in the shouting and dancing. Emmett looked over his plans, they seemed to be in order.

**Jacob's POV**

"Jacob, I want you to go find the Cullens and take them back home, I'll drop you off here," said Dad, I jumped out of the car and walked into town. Why the hell is the town on fire?!

I ran through the streets, looking for the Cullens, please don't tell me they did this, please. In the middle of the town was a bonfire, and dancing around that bonfire was the Cullens, and all the townspeople were tied up, dressed as cowboys. Jasper, Edward and Emmett saw me, grabbed me and tied me up as well.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" I asked, more like yelled, Emmett. He just shrugged and joined in the dancing, they were all shouting,

"DUM DA DUM DA DUM DA DA DUM DA DA DUM DEE DUM DA DEE DUM DUM DA DEE DEE DUM DA DA DUM DEE!"

Carlisle and Esme came along after a while, they made the kids untie us all and we all got into the car and they drove home. Carlisle found Emmett's plans to blow up the earth, when we got to the house he handed them to me, and said,

"He's not to have these," then he walked away, leaving me with Emmett jumping up and down saying,

"MINE MINE MINE MINE!"

Then, Nemo, Dora and Marvin went by, with a bunch of seagulls shouting,

"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!"

O.k. That was weird.

I woke up, Alice was lying on the sofa beside me. It was all a dream. I got up and found a piece of paper on the coffee table, I picked it up. On it was a detailed plan to blow up the earth.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"DAD, DAD!" I shouted, as soon as I got home. Dad came down the hall,

"What is it Jacob?"

"EMMETT IS GOING TO BLOW UP THE EARTH!" I yelled.

"Jacob, I'm going to take you to see the nice men in the white coats, they'll look after you for a bit," he said.

"NOOOOOO!"

**Ta da. So whatya think? REVIEW AND TELL ME! PLEASE! IF YOU REVIEW I'LL GET EMMETT TO....... I don't actually know, but anyway, PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHATYA THINK?!**


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas with the Cullens

**Jacob's POV**

I went to concealing for two weeks after my sudden outburst of Emmett going to blow up the earth. But seriously, the councillor needed more concealing than I did. He was a nutter, but at least concealing taught me something, never trust Emmett. Thankfully the world was still in one piece. But for how long??

Carlisle ad Esme had to go to church, it was Christmas day. Imagine taking the Cullens to church, what a nightmare.

"Thank you Jacob," said Carlisle on his way out the door. No problem, taking care of a few monsters for an hour or so, no problem. Except that one of them wants to blow up the earth, two of them are in love and one of them likes to sit and watch me suffer. Wonderful.

"Hey Jake," said Bella as I walked in the door, she was holding Edward's hand.

"Hey," I replied, they skipped off. I walked over to the sofa where Nessie was eating a book. Oh, Animal noises.

"Nessie, what sound does a turkey make?" I asked her, since it was Christmas. And there was a turkey in the book she was eating. She took the book out of her mouth and said,

"BOOM!" she shouted. What?

"Rose, who taught Nessie animal noises?" I asked, while Nessie said Boom over and over again, singing happily to herself.

"Dad, why?" she said, shrugging and sitting down on the sofa.

"Cause she thinks a turkey goes Boom," I said. Rose shrugged again. I'll try again.

"Nessie, what sound does a turkey make?"

"Boom, boom!" she said, pointing towards the kitchen where Emmett was. Suddenly there was an explosion, I looked round to see turkey everywhere and Emmett covered in it.

"Whoops," he said, looking ashamed. Brilliant. Now we'd have to go get another turkey.

"Come on, let's go," I said. Rose picked up Nessie we all went outside. I carried Edward on my back, and Nessie in my arms, Rose carried Bella on her back and Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett walked. It wasn't far to the nearest shop, so we could walk. We entered the shop. The people at the till ducked under the desks, well, at least the Cullens were well known. Everyone who was in the shop started clearing out at the sight of us. Emmett smiled, like it was something to be proud of. We went into the frozen food section.

"Right, find a turkey, you're parents will flip if they come back and see the turkey's gone," I said as we were looking for a turkey.

"FOUND ONE, FOUND ONE!" Shouted Jasper, jumping up and down pointing to a shelf. Oh great, who drugged Jasper? No need for an answer, I can guess, Emmett. We got the turkey and paid for it, the people at the till never came up from under the desk, can't say I blame them.

When we arrived back home we started cleaning up the remains of the other turkey. There was only half-an-hour before Carlisle and Esme came back. Aw man, It'll take us nearly half-an-hour to clean this up.

It nearly did take us half-an-hour. We were all tired out after it. I think we fell asleep, I'm not too sure because when we woke up we saw a fat man, in a red suit and a white beard helping himself to milk and cookies, we all woke up at the same time and saw him, Nessie shouted,

"SANTIE!" then the man turned round, he smiled at us.

"Welcome to the land of the living," he said as he walked over to us. O.k. kind of weird. He sat down.

"I have something for each of you," he said. Ok, even weirder.

"Emmett," he said, Emmett went forward, and the man gave him a set of handcuffs.

"So you don't go stealing anymore, and for your parents when you get too much for them to handle," he said laughing, making his belly wobble. I tried not to laugh at this.

"Alice," he said, as Alice nervously went forward. He gave Alice a doll, for her to dress up and put make-up instead of using her siblings. She thanked him and ran upstairs.

"Nessie," he said, Nessie wobbled forward at the sound of her name, he gave her a set of keys, plastic ones, ones that she can chew. She chewed on them happily and sat down on the floor, well, fall would be a better word. The man laughed again.

"Rosalie," he said, Rose went forward. He gave her a video camera. She thanked him and sat down again.

"Edward," Edward went forward,

"A rose, for the lady and a book, for you," he said, Edward went over to Bella, got down on one knee and gave her the rose. She giggled and blushed.

"Bella," he said, Bella went over to him, he gave her a bear, she hugged it tight and giggled.

"Jasper," he said nervously. Jasper jumped up and attacked him, yes, Attacked the poor man.

"SANTIE!" he shouted, knocking him over. I grabbed Jasper and got him off the man.

"Thank you Jacob," he said.

"Now, for Jasper I have a book," he said. Jasper grabbed it off him and started giggling madly, running around in circles then running outside. He'll be fine. I mean it's not like he'll jump off the roof or anything.

"I'll be back in a sec," I said, I ran outside, jasper was on the roof.

"JASPER, GET DOWN HERE NOW, TAKE THE LADDER!" I shouted, He came down via the ladder. I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and brought him inside, sitting him on the sofa, setting Nessie on top of him so he couldn't run away.

"Jacob," he said, which shocked me. I went forward and he gave me a skateboard. I thanked him and stared at it. I hadn't had one of these since my 9th birthday.

"Well, I'd better go, Australia should be getting up soon and I don't want to be there when they wake up, enjoy," he said then he went up the chimney and I swear I heard the sound of hooves and bells.

"Wow," said Rose," Santa came." Wow was right, wait a sec, that man, with the red suit and the white beard was Santa?? Boy am I thick.

I glanced at the clock, we still had half an hour. Wow. I looked over towards to door, there was mistletoe hanging there, Edward, holding Bella's hand went over that way, when they were at the doorway rose said,  
"look up," and they did. They looked at each other for a moment, and then they kissed. It was only a small peck on the lips, but it made Bella's face go completely red. Edward even blushed too.

Emmett was on the stairs, handcuffed to the stairs, Jasper was running around in circles, Rose was jumping up and down on the sofa, Alice was singing London bridge is falling down whilst banging a saucepan on the counter. Edward and Bella were giggling, staring at each other, and Nessie was pointing at the Turkey, chewing on her keys. Carlisle and Esme came in the door.

"All yours," I said and ran out the door. I put the skateboard down and began to ride it, Oh no. I've forgotten to stop! I went straight into a tree, Brilliant, this arm better not be broken.

**Ta da, It's not the greatest, I know but let me know what you think. **

**Chrissie. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Trip to the zoo**

**Okay, this is a special request for "Selena", Thanks for reading, and sorry I haven't updated in a while, but Exams are coming up and well, I was supposed to be revising at Christmas, but I ended up starting this fanfic, lol. Sp when it's time to revise I'll probably be updating more, and revising at the same time of course. Because Exams are important, NEVER FORGET THAT! Okay, hyper outburst. Anyways, onto the chapter.**

**Jacob's POV**

Uhhhhh, babysitting again, Yay! (Note the sarcasm). Since the kids messed up mother's day I was to take them out, far, far away from civilisation.

_Flashback_

"_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I shouted whilst seven little faces stared up at me._

"_Makin Breakie for mommy!" shouted Alice excitedly. Right, throwing food around the kitchen is really making breakfast, really thoughtful guys._

"_WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" Shouted Esme coming down the stairs in her dressing gown. Oh hell, she's mad. Alice giggled nervously; I grabbed the kids and ran out the door whilst Esme screamed after us._

"_Whoops," said Nessie, we all laughed, whoops was an understatement._

" Are we there yet?" asked Emmett. I sighed,

"NO!" I said, come on kid, we've been driving for 2 minutes. I was driving the mini bus, yes, I said mini Bus, A FLAMING PINK MINI BUS! Alice and Bella decided to paint it, it used to be sliver, AT LEAST SLIVER WAS A MANLY COLOUR, BUT NO, PINK, I HAVE TO DRIVE A PINK MINI BUS! A couple of girls laughed as I drove past, I opened the window.

"YOU CAN LAUGH, HAVE YOU LOOKED IN MIRROR LATELY!" I shouted, feeling pleased, until their boyfriends looked over at me, I sped up, they were HUGE!

"STOP THE BUS I NEED A WEE-WEE, STOP THE BUS I NEED A WEE-WEE, STOP THE BUS I NEED A WEE-WEE, A WEE-WEE CUP OF TEA!" Shouted Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Bella.

"And a biscuit!" shouted Alice. Where the hell did they learn that song?!

Finally we arrived at the zoo; Emmett grabbed Nessie and ran on.

"Emmett!" I shouted after him, picking up Bella and setting Edward on my shoulders. Emmett came back and we went to pay.

"Hey, seven kids and one adult?" I said, the man behind the glass gave us the tickets and I paid, the poor guy looked scared.

"Yeah, you should be scared, they've got me in jail before," I said, remembering.

_Flashback_

"_Guys, okay, very funny, seriously though, I didn't abuse her, she fell," I explained as two policemen tried to take me away while Alice was crying and Rose was comforting her. Emmett stuck his tongue out at me._

"_Guys, she fell, come on, I'm not allowed to go to jail!" I said, struggling._

"_Like we haven't heard that one before," the policeman said, laughing and putting me into the car._

"_Seriously, I'm too young!" I said, as they got into the car and drove off._

"_Sure you are," said the driver, they both laughed._

"_I AM, I'M ONLY 16!" I shouted._

"_Okay, okay, calm down, we're not taking you to jail," he said. I relaxed._

"_Well then, where are you taking me?" I asked, as we drove into the police station._

"_Here," he said, dragging me out of the car. I struggled, I can't go to jail! I WANNA GO TO COLLEGE!_

_They put me into a cell with several other people, they stood up as I was trying to bend the bars, no luck, but it was worth a try._

"_Oh, Hello," I said, shaking as I turned round and saw five fully grown man towering over me._

"_I was just leaving," I said as I turned round and shouted at the guards to let me out._

"_No sir," they said, laughing._

I had a black eye for three weeks after that.

"Are they your kids?" He asked, pointing towards the seven little monsters, trying to catch the fish in the pond. Emmett actually caught one and ate it whole.

"Hell no," I said, "I'm their babysitter, I feel sorry for the parents though. I had to take them here, mother's day didn't go too well," I whispered. He nodded and I went to help Emmett choke up the fish.

We were at the dolphins now, there was a show on and we were all sitting, waiting.

"Look!" Shouted Alice, pointing to the Dolphins in the pool.

"Yes Alice, it's a dolphin show, there's going to be dolphins," I said, she giggled, rolling her eyes. Seriously, it was like talking to a five year old, wait, she is five. Whoops.

Half way through the show Alice patted my arm.

"Look, look!" she shouted, pointing again to the pool.

"What Alice?!" I asked. She pointed to the pool again, I looked. There was a shark, and guess who was on the shark.

"EMMETT!" I shouted, he looked up and waved, still riding on the Shark. So that's why everyone was screaming. I ran towards the pool, setting Nessie down.

"ROSE, LOOK AFTER THEM!" I all but screamed at her, she obliged. The zoo keepers were trying to catch Emmett in a net, but Emmett wasn't having it.

"EMMETT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!" I shouted, Emmett looked scared for a moment, and then he jumped. I ripped my shirt off and jumped into the water after him. I heard several screams, but ignored them.

I resurfaced dragging Emmett with me, I jumped out of the water and lay Emmett down as he spluttered and choked. Rose was there, with the other Cullens along with the rest of the people who were in the stands. Emmett sat up and laughed. What the hell was wrong with the kid?!

"Jake, it was a toy!" he said, pointing to the man with the Shark fin on his helmet. I WAS GOING TO KILL THE BOY! I RISKED MY LIFE FOR HIM AND IT WAS ALL A PRANK! I ran into the pool and starting to punch the guy. Someone called the police eventfully and an ambulance. The poor guy was whisked away while the police dealt with me.

"It was all a misunderstanding," I tried to explain.

"Do you have a criminal record?" one of them asked.

"Um... no," I said, but Emmett came up and said,

"Yeah, he does, he's been in jail three times!" he said happily. Shut up kid, I glared at him.

"Really?" Asked the policeman, with one eyebrow raised.

"No, the kid's just messing, Right Emmet?!" I said glaring at him and ruffling his hair playfully. Come on kid; don't do this to me, not now.

He pushed me away,

"Yes really, he stole, abused my sister and murdered someone," Emmett said cheerfully. Hey!

"WAIT JUST ONE HELL OF A SECOND, I DID NOT KILL ANYONE!" I shouted. The policemen stepped back a little. Then one of the whispered to Emmett,

"Is he a bit mental?"

"NO!" I shouted, wanting to hit them. But I didn't, it would only get me into more trouble.

"Right, how about this, we let you go, with a warning okay? And this'll never happen again, right?" I nodded. Sure, it won't happen again.

"Okay now, off you go," they said, slowing backing away from me. O.k.a.y. Weird. I picked up Nessie, Edward climbed onto my back, Rose took Alice's hand and Jasper took Alice's other hand, Emmett took Rose's other hand and I picked up Bella in my free arm. We walked off, heading toward the Monkeys.

When we reached the Monkeys there was no-one there, I wonder why? We went over to the glass and there were two monkeys in the trees, two baby monkeys chasing each other and two monkeys doing something they shouldn't do in public. I quickly covered the children's eyes, as did rose. Rose was laughing her head off.

"Come on guys let's go," I said, trying to drag them away.

"But we only got here," said Alice, who managed to struggle free.

"Jake, what are the monkey's doing?" Asked Bella. Rose laughed even harder.

"Nothing, now let's go!" I said, and they reluctantly followed.

"Lookie, Lions!" Said Bella and jumped down, Edward followed after her. I sat Nessie down on the wall so she could see.

"Hey Rose, take care of them would you, I need to go to the restrooms," I said, Rose made a face, but agreed.

After I got back Rose, along with the other Cullens, were screaming. I ran over to them.

"What's wrong?!" I asked, half wanting to hear it, half not. Rose screamed again and point at the lions. Nessie was patting one of the lion's heads sating "Kitty!" over and over again.

"HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET IN THERE?!" I shouted, trying to climb the fence to get her. The zoo keeper grabbed me back.

"Yo kid, you can't do that," he said. I just pointed to Nessie and he jumped over the fence like he was a teenager, he looked around 68 or so though. He approached the lion slowly, Rose was still screaming. I miss I were the one to jump over the fence, you know, be the hero, instead of the bad guy. Nessie lay down next to the Lion, the lion wasn't going to harm her, and the lioness seemed very protective over her, oh hell no! Please tell me the lioness does _not_ think Nessie is one of her cubs?! She can't!

The zoo keeper took another step, the lioness growled. Not a good sign, the zoo keeper stopped dead. Right, I'm fed up being the bad guy here, I jumped onto the fence and jumped over it. I approached the Lioness and the now sleeping Nessie slowly. The lioness was distracted by the zoo keeper who was now backing away. The lioness was deciding whether or not to chase after him, or to stay with Nessie. She got up and slowly went for the zoo keeper. The zoo keeper, seeing what I was doing backed away over to the fence, ready to jump back as soon as I grabbed Nessie.

"Nessie," I whispered, she woke up and waddled over to me, the zoo keeper jumped over the fence. The lioness, disappointed, turned back saw me and went for me instead. I look of hatred in her eyes. I ran with Nessie, jumped over the fence and collapsed, just having enough time to pass Nessie to Rose.

"Right, let's head to the penguins, hopefully there'll be no problems this time, and at least penguins can't eat you if something does happen," I said, getting up and taking Nessie off Rose. Nessie waved to the Lion and she growled playfully in return, wanting her "cub" back.

We went to the Penguins, the tigers, the lemurs, the gorillas, and the petting farm. Alice was the last out of the petting farm, she loved the Chinchillas.

We were at the gift shop now; Rose took Alice and Bella to the restrooms while Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Nessie and I were looking at the fish. Rose came back, running, with Bella and Alice close behind.

"Run Jake, run!" she said, I grabbed Nessie, Emmett, Edward and Jasper and ran, I didn't know why, but it was probably best to trust them when they said run.

"I'll sue you!" Someone shouted.

"You do that!" I shouted back, "My name is Emmett Cullen!" Emmett laughed, taking it as a joke. We jumped back into the pink mini bus and drove off.

"So why was I to run?" I asked once we were out of the zoo.

"AliceandBellasetalltheanimalsfreeandthelionsweregonnagoafterNessieagainandyou'regonnagetsued, wellEmmettisandtheelephantsalmostsquashedus," Said Rose. Right.

"Rose, slower?"

"Alice and Bella set all the animals free," she said. THEY DID WHAT?

"Oh," I said, trying to keep my calm. A noticed a white fluffy thing sitting on Alice's lap.

"Alice?" I asked, she looked up, smiling.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" I shouted, almost crashing into the car in front when the thing jumped.

"It's a chinchilla!" she said excitedly. Oh right, a chinchilla, how cute. NOT! THERE'S A CHINCHILLA IN THE BUS, A CHINCHILLA! WHAT THE HELL IS A CHINCHILLA?!

They are gonna have a lot of explaining to do when they got home. I laughed out loud. I opened the door for them and we went into the house. Carlisle and Esme were already there. They looked angry-ish.

"We got a phone call, it was from the zoo," said Esme.

"I gotta go," I said and ran, laughing.

**Ta daz! What you guys think? Was it funny?**

**Review and tell me what you think, pleasie. *Puppy dog face***

**Danka sehr. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Never again**

**Okay guys, thanks for reviewing. Special thanks to Selena for all the reviews, you've been great! Okay, this chapter is another special request for Selena, and don't worry guys, you'll get your food fight. Btw suggestions would be helpful. I have ideas but it won't fit in just yet, so keep the reviewing coming I love them. **

**Jacob's POV**

After our little incident in the zoo Carlisle decided on staying at home to babysit them with me, not a good idea Carlisle, they aren't the little angels you think they are. I'm getting the feeling that, after today, Carlisle will know his kids better, just a touch better.

Esme and Carlisle weren't happy that they had a stolen cat, Sassy, and a stolen Chinchilla in the house. Alice decided on naming it Cheerio, like the cereal. Seriously, these kids need to get lives.

"Darling, I'll be back by five, you sure you'll be ok?" Asked Esme at the door, eyeing Emmett carefully. Emmett just looked up and smiled, he was sitting on the floor playing with Sassy, well, teasing her. He had a piece of ham and he was throwing it up in the air while Sassy tried to get it. She got fed up, scraped him, grabbed the ham and ran off. That'll teach him, I laughed.

"Yes Honey, I'll be fine," replied Carlisle, clapping his hand. He actually looked excited. Wow. What is wrong with this guy?

We had the Cullens, Bella because Charlie went out of town for some reason, don't ask me why, parents are weird, Seth and Leah Clearwater as well, because Harry went with Charlie and Sue, well, who knows. She could be anywhere, like I said, Parents are weird. I think it's something to do with the kids, they do something to you. Well, I'm not having kids, no way. I'm not ending up in a mental home.

"Jakie Jakie, Lookie, Lookie!" said Alice, pointing to Cheerio. He/she was in the skink, trying to get away from Alice who was holding him the water. I ran over to her, grabbed Cheerio and wrapped him/her in a towel. Poor Cheerio. Alice took the towel, with Cheerio in it up to her room. Probably to dress it up with make-up and stuff.

"Rose, Leah, Can you make sure Alice doesn't abuse little Cheerio?" I asked. She smiled and nodded. They ran up the stairs. Ever since Nessie was _saved_ from the lions Rose has been nicer to me, well, sorta nicer. Leah has even improved. Carlisle just stared at me like I made a pig fly.

"You don't know everything that happened at the zoo, it may have involved Nessie and a lion," I said to him. He stared at me amazed, and shocked. Well, I guess any parent would be shocked hearing the word Lion, zoo, and their youngest daughter all in the same sentence, or maybe he was shocked about the whole thing that Rose did what she was told? It was nothing; Rose could do what she was asked when she wanted, which wasn't often.

Jasper came down the stairs, saw Carlisle, quickly hid the things in his hands, which were probably drugs, and ran back upstairs, coming back down without drugs in his hands. He went past Carlisle and whistled like he did nothing wrong. I laughed quietly at his attempt of looking innocent. Edward and Bella were outside in the garden, along with Emmett and Seth. Jasper ran outside and greeted them. Nessie was sleeping on the couch there; she looked so peaceful, so we didn't wake her.

It was only 2pm, it was a Saturday so I had no school, I remember the day the Cullens ended up in my school.

_Flashback_

"_Jacob Black, could Jacob Black please report to the office, NOW!" said the little machine on the wall, the talking thing. I groaned and got up, grabbing my books. I got a few stares as I left class and went to the office._

"_I was called?" I said, looking bored as the receptionist glared at me from underneath her bright purple glasses. She said nothing but pointed to the principal's office. Brilliant. I'm guessing I'm not here for an award. I knocked on the door._

"_Come in," said the Principle. I walked in. There, in front of me were seven little monsters. _

"_WHY?!" I shouted, the principle jumped but told me to sit down. _

"_These seven...Children," she choked on the word, I almost laughed out loud, "Stood at the front of the school, calling you're name. Now, are you going to tell me why?"_

"_I have no idea why, sorry miss, I babysit them sometimes, but at my school? I don't think so, I'll take them home now," I said._

"_No, Jacob, You can take them to your classes with you, keep them quiet," she said, dismissing us. WHAT?! DOES SHE HATE ME OR SOMETHING?!_

_So I left with the seven little monsters following me. The teachers weren't too please, oh well. I didn't like it any more than they did. Though Edward showed us all up in Music, the kid's smart for a two year old._

That was an awful day, being showed up by a two year old! Carlisle was now rocking back and forth on his heels, unsure of what to do. I chuckled. He went into the kitchen and found something to do. I noticed that Jasper, Seth and Emmett were missing. They can't be far right? I mean, it's not like they'll end up in Washington DC or anything. Rose and Leah came down the stairs, chatting to each other.

"Oh girls, you're brothers are missing," I whispered to them. They didn't look overly worried, so I let it pass. Edward and Bella were still outside, playing. Alice was upstairs, Leah and Rose were on the sofa talking, Emmett, Jasper and Seth were missing and Nessie was sleeping. This day couldn't get any more peaceful.

Guess again Jacob, no day with the Cullens is a peaceful day. Nessie woke up around 3, Carlisle took care of her, he even got Rose and Leah to help him in the kitchen. Edward and Bella went up to the nursery, and Alice was still in her room, with poor cheerio. I decided to go see what was going on upstairs.

"Jacob, I'm taking Rose and Leah to the store with me, will you be okay here?" he asked, I nodded and they left. I ran into the nursery, there was no-one there, but there was a syringe on the floor. Who have they drugged now?! There was a huge pile of teddies, carefully placed on top of each other, Darn, What have they done now?! I went over and moved all the teddies out of the way. I was not expecting what I saw. There was an unconscious man lying, face down, on the floor, underneath the teddies. WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!

I picked up the unconscious man and swung him over my shoulder, I carried him downstairs and set him on the sofa, just then Emmett came down the stairs.

"Emmett? Who the hell is this?" I asked calmly, pointing to the unconscious man.

"Hmmmm...." he said, and then ran. I swear I heard him say, "Step one of world domination complete, MWHAHAHA!"

Okay, Emmett is officially evil. II flicked on the news for something to do.

"And earlier today the president was kidnapped," A picture popped up on the screen, I looked at the unconscious man, OH HELL NO! "police are still looking. Now let's go live to Washington," Said the news lady.

"Thank you Caroline, I'm here live in Washington with two little boys, what are your names?"

Then Jasper and Seth came up on the screen. WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING THERE?!

"I'm Jasper and this is Seth, we're gonna be the new president," Jasper said, smiling.

"Okay, we have two new presidents, willing to take Barack Obama's Place. But I'm sure he'll turn up," Jasper and Seth giggled at that point. But the news lady ignored them, she continued talking about how and when he was kidnapped, it was just after I realised Jasper, Seth and Emmett were missing.

Emmett.

"EMMETT, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW AND TELL ME WHY BRACCK OBAMA IS IN THE LIVING ROOM!" I shouted, Emmett came out and stared at him.

"Oh, that's the president right?" he asked.

"HELL YEAH IT'S THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, apart from God, BUT YOU KIDNAPPED HIM?!" I shouted, Emmett just shrugged.

"Mmmmaaabbbbyyyyyyyeeee," he said, looking down, folding his hands behind his back and shuffling his feet nervously.

"What's going on here?" asked Barack. Oh hell he's awake.

"Um...I'm sorry to tell you this, but, ah," I started.

"Where am I? Who are you? Why am I here?" he asked, backing away from us.

"Listen Mr. Obama, whatever you wanna be called, I'm sorry to inform you that you've been kidnapped by a seven year old, you might wanna think about tightening your security," I said. Barack just stood there, probably frightened.

"Now all we need to do is find a way to get you back to Washington," I said, "Emmett, grab Alice, Edward, Bella and Nessie, we're going to Washington."

**(Yeah ok, I know Washington is on the other side of the US, after looking it up in Google maps, but anyway. Let's just say they got a plane, and it only took an hour, okay? Cause I really don't know and it'll only take an hour to get back, just so there's no confusion)**

We drove to the nearest airport and got on the plane. We got Barack Obama a disguise, so no-one knew it was him. It suited him pretty well. The plane ride only took an hour so we arrived in Washington at four, we had an hour before Esme got home, but what about Carlisle, please let there be two hours of traffic!

By the time we arrived at the white house it was already four thirty. We left the President home, grabbed Jasper and Seth by the scruff of the neck and raced home. We didn't have much time, and what would Carlisle and Esme think if we were all missing?

We finally arrived home, Carlisle wasn't there, either was Esme. Good. Alice ran upstairs, I sent Jasper, Seth and Emmett to the stairs, they can sit there until their parents come home, Nessie was asleep in my arms, Edward and Bella were singing and then ran out into the garden. Alice came back down with a soaking wet Chinchilla, oh yeah, I almost forgot about Cheerio. I went up to find Emmett, I wonder where Sassy is?

"Hey Em, where's Sassy?" I asked. Emmett grabbed Sassy by the scruff of the neck and showed her to me. Oh right. There were several loud bangs from downstairs. I ran down. Alice was in the kitchen, opening the microwave door, inside was a traumatized Chinchilla, it was even fluffier than before! If that was even possible. Cheerio had wide eyes and looked like he/she'd just been electrocuted.

"CHEERIO!" Alice shouted, she grabbed him, he didn't move an inch, it was like he was frozen.

"YOU DID THIS JAKE, YOU KILLED HIM!" She wailed, punching me. She climbed onto my back and started pulling my hair. Ow! Come on kid, can't you leave a guy alone for two minutes

"Alice, calm down, it'll be okay," I said, pulling her off my back and cradling her. She cried. Cheerio ran for his life, he darted up the stairs.

"Look Alice, Cheerio is ok!" I said softly. She nodded but cried anyway.

Carlisle came home at the same time Esme did. Alice was still crying, only with the squirming Cheerio in her arms. Carlisle and Esme didn't ask questions, I'm pretty glad they didn't. How the hell was I supposed to tell them Emmett kidnapped the President?

Anyway, Carlisle took Alice off me and held her close. I left them, Rose smiled at me when I left. Who knows why though?

**Ta da! Sorry it wasn't up earlier, writers block. Oh btw THANKS TO KLUTZERLLA! Sorry if it's spelt wrong. She was the one with the whole idea about Cheerio in the microwave and kidnapping the President. I can't take full responsibility for this chapter. Selena helped me as well, thanks guys!**

**REVIEW! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!**

**PLEASE AND THANK YOU!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Rosalie's Birthday (What a nightmare!)**

**Okays, sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been doing exams and such and I actually revised this time, what an achievement. Anyways, I'm really really sorry. Thanks to Selena, Mangosaregood8, Currierbell, Betterthanyou1n2, Tamara a.k.a Captain McCheese, Klutzerella, and everyone else who reviewed on the last few chapters. All idea's given in WILL be used so don't worry. Idea's put forward for this chapter are from Selena, Tamara a.k.a Captain McCheese, Klutzerella, and Currierbell.**

**Selena; don't worry about it, I completely understand, I've been grounded a few times myself. I'm not mad at you, btw, it's great that you're giving my idea's I need them. **_Btw this chapter is for your big sis KK, and for your friend Abby, and for everyone who reviewed, including you Selena._

**Sorry for the long authors thingy, Hope you enjoy it! Btw, any idea's for Jake's Birthday?**

**Jacob's POV**

Today was Rosalie's birthday, she's 11 today. I wasn't _exactly _invited. But Esme needs help and Carlisle had to go to work, he said he's make it up to Rose later, how I have no idea. I arrived early to help set up. A few of Rosalie's friends were coming; Seth was coming as was Bella. Leah, Tamara, Erin, Selena, KK, Abby, and Emily. So there was going to be eight screaming girls around the house, I felt or Esme.

"Thank you Jacob, for being here to help," said Esme, patting my arm. I smiled,

"No problem," I replied. It wasn't a problem. The only problem here is the Cullens. Esme was going to stay with the girls, all I had to do was keep Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Alice, Nessie and Seth under control and out of the way, Rosalie didn't want Emmett ruining her birthday, and I don't think Esme could take it, she looks exhausted already!

Once the girls arrived I grabbed the Cullens, Bella and Seth and dragged them into the Garden. Emmett carried Sassy out as Alice carried Cheerio out. This was going to be one hell of a day.

Inside we could hear the girls screaming and having fun, Esme was at the window and looked as if she were about to puke. I was pushing Nessie on the swings, Edward and Bella were in sight, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were in the tree house behind me and Seth was guarding the tree house. He looked all serious as he stood at the bottom of the tree, his arms folded, looking from right to left with a frown on his face. I laughed quietly. Nessie was giggling very loudly, so it was hard to tell if the girls were screaming inside or not.

Alice jumped down from the tree house, tears in her eyes, carrying Cheerio.

"J-Jake, ch-cheero won't w-wake up!" she sobbed. She gave the limp animal to me, it had a bloody nose and looked to be dead. I poked it, it didn't move. Cheerio had scrap marks, and cuts all over his body. Alice was crying hard now, she was rubbing her eyes and choking on her own tears. Nessie began to scream as the swing stopped, I pushed it hard and grabbed Alice out of the way before she got hit. I set Cheerio down on the ground and got down to Alice's height.

"Hey, don't cry honey," I said, wiping her tears away, "Cheerio had gone to a better place now, he'll be fine, look, look up, he'll be watching you, wave Alice!" I said softly, pointing to the sky. Alice waved towards the sky, still choking a little.

"Hey there, he'll be ok, you'll be ok, Things will just be a little different," I said, trying to comfort her. She nodded and hugged me.

"Thanks Jakie," she said, and ran off. I noticed the difference in her voice, what was she up to?

I went back to pushing Nessie on the swing. I noticed that Edward and Bella weren't alone; there were three other kids there. I picked Nessie up and walked over to them. There was a short blond kid, a little girl with long ginger hair, and a small black kid.

"Hi, I'm Laurent, this is James and Victoria, we just wanted to know if you wanted to play," said Laurent, the little black kid who was standing in the middle of James and Victoria. Edward eyed Laurent suspiciously.

"Hey! You brought a snack!" shouted James, pointing to Bella's Milky stars. Edward made a grab for them.

"Their Bella's and you can't have them!" said Edward, protecting the Milky stars. Bella smiled at her protector. She hugged Edward's arm and smiled. Victoria glared at Bella. James and Edward were glaring at each other and I think Laurent finally realised I was there.

"Hello," I said, Nessie giggled and waved. Laurent backed away, probably at the size of me. I was huge compared to them, I was about 6'5, and they weren't even 2ft tall yet. Laurent pointed to me and James and Victoria saw me too. James grabbed Victoria's hand and backed away. I laughed quietly.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," I teased, eyeing them. They got scared and ran away. Edward glared at me. Whoops, looks like it was his battle.

"Why don't we all play a game huh?" I said, quickly changing the subject so Edward wouldn't attack. Edward and Bella smiled,

"YAY!" they said and ran off to get Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Seth. Esme called us in, they were going to sing happy birthday, and we could play the game afterwards. All the Cullens were in already. Emmett looked pleased, hell no, what has the kid done now? Alice was smiling evilly at me, she had something planned. Jasper was getting impatient, eyeing the cake looking hungry. Edward and Bella were smiling at each other, Nessie was reaching for the cake, but I held her back. All the girls were waiting to sing, I began to get scared. Esme returned and they began to sing,

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHAY TO ROSALIE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" they all shouted. I covered Nessie's ears, but she didn't seem to mind the noise, she just wanted at the cake. Rose blew out the candles and the cake exploded. Yes, Exploded. All the girls and the Cullens, Bella and Seth jumped and ducked. I hid Nessie behind my back, but she loved it. Esme ducked as well. Emmett came up laughing his head off. Jasper made a dive for the cake, Edward, Bella, Alice and Seth were nowhere to be seen, Nessie was giggling on my back, eating the cake that exploded on me, which no covered my t-shirt, face and hair. Lucky thing I had my eyes closed. Rose was crying, all the girls were giving Emmett and Jasper evil glares and trying to comfort her. Esme grabbed the boys by the scuff of the neck and threw them out into the garden, not literally, she's not that cruel, but she _set_ them down and locked them out. I grabbed Nessie, and ran outside. Edward, Bella, Seth and Alice were already out there, setting out cones in a square shape.

"We're playing Baseball!" announced Alice. They had already picked teams. Emmett, Jasper and Edward and Seth, me Nessie, Bella and Alice. Alice was the bowler **(Please forgive me, I know NOTHING about Baseball, it's not really a sport played over here, it's more of an American sport, SORRY)** Bella batted first, she got to first base and fell over, Edward ran over to help her. I batted next with Nessie in my arms, I set Nessie down and she ran. Emmett, Jasper, Seth and Edward were easy on her, she got a home run, after about two minutes of cheering and her cutting all the corners just going around Alice and coming back. Alice batted next and I took over bowling. She got to second base. Then we switched sides. The boys were batting. Alice still wanted to bowl. Edward batted first, he got a home run before we could spot the ball, he may be small, but that kid sure is fast. Emmett batted next, he got a home run as well, only because he batted so hard I had to run 100 metres with Nessie in my arms to get the ball. Seth batted next, he got to third base and we managed to get him out. Jasper batted last, he managed to get to second base and stay in.

Our game ended when Esme called us in for cake half an hour later (A newly made cake). We won, mostly because of Nessie. They couldn't put her out, her little face was too hard to resist, and she had terrible tantrums. I've never seen one, but I hear they're pretty bad.

After cake I noticed Emmett playing with Sassy, well, trying too. Alice had gone upstairs with Jasper, Seth, Edward and Bella. I had Nessie on my lap. The eight girls headed out with Esme for ice-cream.

Sassy wasn't too pleased, she scraped Emmett and hissed. Emmett ran, he jumped over the sofa and sat down next to me.

"What's up?" I asked. Emmett looked at me, like a seven year old was going to tell me his evil plans.

"WetriedtomakeSassyandCheeriodowhatthemonkeysweredoingatthezoobutSassykilledCheerioandAlicewasreallyupset," he said super fast, sounded ashamed and hurt, and then he said," can we have a funeral for Cheerio?" *speechless* HOW CAN HE JUST ASK THAT AFTER WHAT HE JUST SAID? And he said it calmly too?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH IS KID?! And they tried to make Sassy and Cheerio Mate?! That was so wrong in so many ways! Yet quite hilarious, but still incredibly wrong and sick! But killing Cheerio? That was pretty wrong, but Alice doesn't seem too upset, and I _know_ she has something planned. Emmett was looking at the ground, ashamed. But then after he finished being ashamed (which only lasted about 30 seconds, in which I was still speechless) he asked

"Can we, please, please, please, please, please, please?!" he pleaded. I nodded, still speechless at what they had done.

"YAY!" he shouted and ran up the stairs to get Alice, Edward, Bella, Seth, and Jasper. Nessie was still sitting on my knee, I almost forgot she was there; she was happily chewing on the keys Santa gave her for Christmas, which now that I think about it, was a pretty freakin weird experience.

A few minutes later, the Cullens and Seth came down the stairs in Black clothes. Alice was wearing a black dress, a black hat with a black veil over her face. She has a box of tissues with her and a bunch of flowers, for the grave I assume. Bella was wearing a black dress; Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Seth were all wearing black suits. Bella had one arm around Alice who was crying quietly, telling Bella she was ok, and Bella's other arm was patting Alice's arm. The boys were murmuring to each other. Bella shot me a glare that reminded me of the metaphor "if looks could kill" Alice stopped her crying for a moment and at the same moment the boys stopped murmuring to each other and they all looked at me.

"You can't wear that!" said Alice, outraged. She clicked her fingers and Emmett ran up the stairs and bought down a black jacket and a white collar and a black coat for Nessie. He threw it at me with a scowl on his face. Alice clicked her fingers again and Jasper, Seth, and Emmett ran off in three different directions. I put on the jacket and the black coat for Nessie, ignoring the white collar.

"Ahem," said Alice, clicking her fingers again, I scowled but put on the white collar. The boys came back, Emmett and Jasper had a small coffin on their shoulders, Seth was walking in front, along with Edward. Alice and Bella ran quickly behind. Alice coughed at me and pointed behind her. I walked behind her still carrying Nessie. A funeral march began to play, who knows where from, and Alice began to quietly cry again, Bella comforted her. Alice was dabbing her eyes with a tissue underneath her veil. The boys all had serious expressions and I doddered on behind them. They took this all so seriously, even though none of us were really sad. I was outraged they did that, Nessie didn't know what was going on, the boys saw this as a game, Alice was sad before but then she came up with a plan and Bella, well, who knows, us guys will never understand girls. **(YES! THE GIRLS OF THE WORLD ARE SAFE FROM THE BOY SPECIES EVER ATTACKING, Sorry, had to say that) **

We all marched towards the flower patch where the kids stopped, there were chairs set out, Alice and Bella sat at the front. Emmett, Seth, Jasper and Edward sat behind them. There were several teddies holding tissues filling in the other seats. Emmett took Nessie off me and pushed me to the front where they had set the Coffin down. Engraved on the coffin was "Cheeriio, a beloveded freind who we will neber forgot (Aparts rom Rennezmee, she don't eben no what happenin)" I smiled, whoever engraved it can't spell. They were all looking at me, Oh, oh! I was supposed to be the minister. Oh, okay.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of family and friends to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony, which is commended of St. Paul to be an honourable estate, instituted of God and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or carelessly, but reverently, joyfully and in the love of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined..." I started in a weird voice. Alice coughed.

"That's a wedding, we're at a funeral... *cough*" she coughed, Oh, whoops. I started again, but stopped before I could even start,

"I don't know funerals!" I whisper. Alice scowled so I decided on making something up on the spot.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of family and friends to join together...Ahem...to celebrate...I mean to....um..., uh..... CelebratethelifeofCheeriotheChinchillawhodiedbeacuseEmmettkilledhim!" I finished. Then I looked at Emmett, he was bright red.

"HA!" I said, right in his face. Yeah, it was pretty mean, but none of them were sad, I was, I'll miss the little fur ball. Emmett and Jasper carried the coffin over to a hole in the ground; Emmett elbowed me in the stomach on the way. Ow! That kid can elbow hard, and he's seven! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?! Either he's in incredibly strong or I'm incredibly weak. I MUST GO TO GYM!

Alice was now crying as the Coffin was being lowered, Bella and Emmett were crying too. Edward, Jasper and Seth were trying to put on brave faces, Nessie even gave a sniffle. A moment later three men came round the corner. They looked a bit surprised at what the kids and I were wearing but ignored it. Alice ran over to them, whispered something to them and pointed to me. They walked right over to me. They had had the letters RSPCA written on their sweaters. Oh hell no! I glared at Alice, who smirked at me through her "fake" tears.

"Are you Jacob black?" one of them asked. I nodded, still glaring at Alice.

"Did you kill Cheerio the Chinchilla?" they asked, writing this down on a note book. I glared at them.

"No, I didn't, but I doubt that you want to hear the real truth," I sapped. Alice had gotten me into trouble before, the whole lot of them had, but it was getting to a point where it was almost crossing the line. Sure, I could never be mad at a bunch of kids, no, I could never do that, but No-one said anything about _not_ taking my anger out on the policemen, I need a little fun. Besides, Carlisle will be home soon, he called when Esme left. He heard about Cheerio, I gave him the _truth_.

"Well, what is the truth?" one of them asked calmly, impatient.

"Uh.....Like I said, I doubt that you wanna know, GET OFF MY BACK!" I shouted at them, I was enjoying this. Alice began giggling. Nessie, still in my arms squeaked.

"Are you inflicting harm upon any of these children?" the other one asked, anger getting the better of him. He looked disgusted.

"No, but they've called Child abuse before on me, doesn't mean I did anything, they have no proof," I said casually, like there was nothing to it. I shrugged my shoulders.

"You are arrested for child abuse, animal abuse..." one of the started, taking Nessie off me as the other one put handcuff's on me, Emmett interrupted.

"Blowing up our neighbours house, robbery, fake ID, racism, blowing up our garden, killing my best friend, ect," he counted off his fingers, "the list is endless, this guy has a criminal record!" said Emmett excitedly. They looked at me horrified.

Carlisle came through the door.

"Alice, I got you a hamster!" he called. Alice ran into the kitchen screaming "DADDY!"

"Hey, that's the father, bring it up with him, I'm outta here!" I said, managing to escape, still with handcuffs on but at least I got away. One of them began running after me, no use, I was too fast.

I laughed as I reached my house. Dad saw me at the door.

"I don't want to know," he said, eyeing my handcuffs. I laughed and he went inside. What a day!

**Sorry this chapter is sooo late. Exams and such. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I'm away on DOFE, Duke of Edinburgh award this weekend, basically today, and tomorrow, I wanted to finish this before I went cause I didn't want you guys to wait two more days. Klutzerella did it before me and said it was hell so, I'm gonna die so please pray for me! Extra brownie points if you do!**

**One more thing, look up this song, only if you want to, but it's awesome! This is the song I shall be annoying the hell outta people singing on DOFE, 26km to walk with a heavy rucksack on my back! WOOO! I can't wait...... not. The song's called, Billy don't be a hero by Paper lace. It's an old song but awesome. **

**Remember REVIEW AND PRAY! Brownie points are available!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Fed up**

**Hey, sorry guys! I'll update more regularly from now on. I hope you guys like this chapter, I'm working on chapter 15 now, as you read this. Btw, idea's put in for this chapter are from ****Betterthanyou1n2, Mangosaregood8. I'm sorry if your name isn't mentioned and you did put an idea in, if this happens let me know, cause none of this chapter, well, apart from one minor detail at the end, WHICH I HOPE YOU GUYS WILL LOVE! Apart from that none of this chapter was my idea. **

**Selena, it's fine, you don't have to type to me every day you know, I'm glad you do though, I love getting reviews and emails. **

**DON'T WORRY GUYS ALL IDEA'S PUT FORWARD WILL BE USED! If you don't see your idea up within in the next chapter or so please tell me the idea again, please and Thanks you!**

**Next Chapter will be a long one; I want it to be the longest yet so sorry if it's not up for a while. I'll try my best! Oh yea, Thanks to all those who prayed for me, I AM ALIVE! Lol, thanks. Btw I will be changing my Author name, just so you don't think that I died and someone else is in my place, IT IS ME!**

**My new Author name will be "TwilightTinkerbell" cause of something that happened over DOFE. Hope you guys like this!**

**Jacob's POV**

I arrived early at the Cullen household. After three hours yesterday I managed to get the handcuffs off, ALL BY MYSELF! Wow, I NEED to get some friends of my own; the Cullen's are starting to get to me. Billy refused to help me through my struggle; he was convinced I had just escaped from jail. This was a likely possibility, but not the point.

When I arrived Esme was running around the house, for some unknown reason the kids were nowhere to been seen.

"Oh Jacob, your here, good, I'm late and I can't find my car keys," she said running past me. I helped her look and found them on top of the counter.

"Thank you Jacob," she said, wow, she must be tired, they were easy to see!

"Jacob, do you mind going to the shops for me, I'll give you the money, I have a shopping list right here," she said kindly. I nodded my head, glad to get out. The kids would have to come with me of course.

"Thank you Jacob, you don't know how much this means, you'll have to take the minivan," she said, scurrying out the door. O.k.a.y then.

"Guys!" I shouted, the Cullen's and Bella ran down the stairs. They all seemed to be dressed up, not as scruffy. Emmett's jeans were intact, the girls were wearing casual dresses, and Edward and Jasper were looking clean. Wow, what a first.

They all climbed into the minivan and we arrived at Wal-Mart soon enough. Emmett went to grab a trolley and we walked into the shop. I set Edward and Bella into the little seat things on the front of the trolley, Jasper and Alice were sitting in the trolley, Nessie was on my shoulders and Emmett and Rose were walking calmly beside me. I glanced down at the list.

"Right we need banana's, oranges, pineapple, strawberries, apples, yogurts, cereal, chicken, cheese, butter...How long _is _this list?!" I asked in disbelief. The Cullens were smiling sweetly up at me, now is the time to get worried. We walked into the fruit and veg area, Emmett grabbed the Banana's, the oranges and the Apples and passed them to Jasper in the trolley. Jasper passed them to Alice who set them down beside her. Well, at least they aren't fighting or making a fuss now that would be embarrassing. Just then two teenage girls walked past, they were in my school, part of the popular crowd, I smiled shyly and waved. Emmett winked at Jasper, what were they up to?

The two girls were looking at me giggling. Jasper suddenly wailed, the girls jumped.

"Daddy!" said Alice in a shy but loud voice, pulling at my jacket, "Make Jazzy stop, he's pulling me!"

The two girls were completely in shock, they thought I was the father. I was rooted to the spot, as were they.

"Da da!" said Nessie, joining in, patting my head, enjoying herself. Jasper wailed louder, pulling at Alice, Emmett suddenly tripped Rose up, they were all in on it.

"Ow! Dad!" said Rose, getting to her feet and looking at me. The two girls were staring at me in disbelief, I finally found my voice,

"They're _not _my kids, seriously, I'm their babysitter!" I said, trying to get Alice to stop tugging at me. They had to believe me! They began giggling again, one of the whispered

"Just wait til this gets out in school!" then they walked off, giggling.

"I'm the babysitter!" I shouted after them. I glared at the Cullen's. They were all giggling. I decided to move on.

We moved on to the frozen area, I told Emmett and Rose what to get and they went and grabbed it. Frozen peas, chips, ice-cream, yogurts, butter, cheese, juice, chicken, beef, pork, kebabs, and pineapple. I suppose, they only go shopping once a month. More girls past us.

Bella began to tug at my collar.

"Daddy! Edward won't leave me alone!" she said, trying to push Edward away, Edward was having as much fun poking Bella as Bella was pushing him. Jasper and Alice began to play up.

"Daddy!" wailed Alice, "Make him stop!" I glanced over at the girls, I was pretty sure they were trying to figure out my age.

"Seriously, I'm not their dad, I'm their babysitter!" I said, having an emotional breakdown. The rolled their eyes and walked on, giggling. Why do they have to make my life miserable?!

Why me?!

Finally the shopping trip was over, we could leave. The Cullen's and Bella pulled the same stunt five more times, even at the checkout. Seriously, why did I volunteer to baby-sit them?! Why?! I shouldn't have said "Sure" to Esme and Carlisle when I was 15, I should've said "no", why didn't I say no, why? Emmett was only five at the time and much less of a handful, Bella and Edward were only babies and Nessie wasn't even born. Rose was seven, Alice was two, and Jasper was three.

We all arrived home and the Cullen's helped me put everything away with smirks on their faces.

After putting everything away I sat down on the carpet with Nessie. She was playing with blocks, stacking them up and knocking them down again. She giggled each time she knocked them down, then she stacked them up again. She was cute when she did that.

I knew the kids were up to something, when they go into a little huddle and say loudly,

"Jake, don't disturb us we're up to something." You kind of get the idea. It was something big; they kept looking over at me. Alice went to pick up the phone when Carlisle came in.

"Oh, hello. I didn't expect anyone to be home," he said, looking nervous. Why would he be nervous. His face suddenly turned to excitement.

"I need to stop off at work for a moment, Nessie needs her check-up, why don't we all go?" he said. The Cullen's nodded and we all jumped into the mini-van. Yes, the pink mini-van.

Once we got to the hospital Carlisle, Nessie and I went off to the check-up room whatever it's called. Carlisle told the children to stay put, not to move or touch anything. I really hope they listen to him, I hate to see the amount of damage they could do in here.

**Rosalie's POV**

Dad told us all to stay put, fat chance. You would think your own father would know his children by now, he sees us everyday, no wait, not everyday day. Sometimes I get detentions and don't get home for ages, and Emmett been to the police station before, Alice has been lost for a whole day, and we like to hide when the phone rings, usually to tell our parents what we've done. We kinda learn to fear the phone. Nessie always starts crying whenever it rings now.

As soon as Jake, Nessie and dad were out of sight, Alice, Bella and my brothers has dashed off somewhere. At least I try; I'm the innocent one here. Of course I'm the one who'll be blamed. I'm the oldest; I should know better, blah blah blah.

Well, I might as well follow them. I followed Alice and Jasper, they _need_ to be watched. It's amazing how much two small little kids can do. Alice and Jasper ran into a ward, I followed them. It was a children's ward. Alice saw dressing up stuff and ran straight for it shouting "BARBIE," Jasper however ran towards the children in the ward, they didn't look scared. I went out of the children's ward and went to find Edward and Bella. Edward and Bella were in another ward, only this was for old people, with the wrinkles and everything! Usually Edward and Bella would be scared of old people, but they were sitting on the floor, hand in hand talking to them.

"I'm three!" said Edward to someone. The old person smiled, showing no teeth. Gross.

"How old are you sweetie?" asked a grandma.

"I'm three too!" said Bella. The grandma smiled, at least she _had_ teeth. They seemed to be doing nothing wrong so I left, and went looking for Emmett, who knows what he's done.

I found Emmett in the infants ward; he was a book out reading to the tiny little babies.

"And the duck went Quack," he said quietly, careful not to awaken the babies. I smiled. No-one seemed to be doing any harm. So I left and went back to the waiting room.

A few minutes later I heard a scream. Alice. I ran towards the sound, what have they done now?! Alice, Emmett and Jasper were standing at the door or a private room. They were staring at the man asleep. I went over to him, his chest wasn't moving, he was breathing right?

"What. Did. You. Do?!" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I screamed," Alice said, still standing in the door way. Emmett came in and sat on the bed beside the man. Emmett got out his book and began to read to him.

"And the duck went Quack!" said Emmett, louder than he usually would've done. Alice and Jasper walked in, a little more relaxed.

"How come he's asleep, he was awake when I screamed?" said Alice, jumping onto his bed, sitting beside Emmett. Jasper jumped up too and shook the poor man. I heard a beeping noise, I looked at the heart monitor, there was one long straight line. I screamed. He was dead.

"ALICE YOU KILLED HIM!" I shouted. We all screamed and ran out of the room. We all decided to find Edward and Bella, and to get away from the crime scene.

"Wait," said Jasper, stopping us in our path.

"Watch," said Alice. Two doctors came running by, the slipped and fell, the knocked over everyone in their path. We all laughed, my ribs hurt.

"What did you do?" asked Emmett, laughing.

"Morphine, very slippery stuff," said Jasper. We went looking for Edward and Bella and it's wasn't too long before we found them. They were in the storage cupboard, there were empty bottles lying on the ground, Edward and Bella were lying on the ground, asleep.

"Are they dead?" asked Alice.

"No, sleeping," said Emmett.

"Go check!" said Jasper, a frightened look on his face. I went to check. I checked their breathing, it seemed a little fast.

"They're alive, no need to worry," I said, lifting Bella up. Emmett lifted Edward and swung him over his shoulder.

"What the hell happened here?!" we heard an angry voice say. We turned around and came face to face with our father. Darn.

**Jacob's POV**

"What the hell happened here?!" asked Carlisle. I was trying not to laugh at the scene before me. I had Nessie in my arms. Rose had Bella in her arms; Emmett had Edward over his shoulder. Jasper looked terrified and Alice looked as if she had murdered someone.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SCREAMED AND HE DIED! DONT KILLEST ME! DADDY I KILLEDED POOR MAN, POOR MAN NO MORE! I IS SORRY! I IS SORRY! FORGIVEEST ME, I DO NO WRONG NO MORE, NO MORE. I BE GOOD GIRL, EVIL JASPER HE KILLEDED HIM TOO! JASPERS FAULT ALL JASPERS FAULT!" shouted Alice, pointing to Jasper, blaming the murder on him. I suppressed a giggle. Even though it was sad a poor man died in the hands of a five year old, terrible, terrible, it was funny to see Alice confess to the murder, then blame it on her brother.

"We're going home. NOW!" said Carlisle. The Cullen's filed out behind him. Everyone moved to the side as we walked by, Carlisle's face must've been scary.

The ride home was done in silence. It was awkward. When we arrived home Carlisle paced up and down the living room. Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice sat down. Rose had the unconscious Bella on her knee; Emmett had the unconscious Edward on his knee. Emmett took Rose's hand for support. Jasper took Alice's hand; they looked so cute, vulnerable and defenceless all at the same time. I was standing at the door, waiting for my chance or a perfect getaway, with Nessie still in my arms.

"Why didn't I do this years ago?!" said Carlisle suddenly. He grabbed a piece of paper, which seemed to have writing on it, sat down at the table. The phone rang.

"What?!" Carlisle shouted down the phone.

"Yes, yes, I see, thank you," he said, rather rudely and told us.

"Just so you know, the man you screamed at, survived, they brought him back to life after you all screamed and left the room," Carlisle said, and sat down at the table again. No-one dared to speak, Carlisle had a maniacal grin on his face, we were all scared.

"Daddy, what you doing?" asked Alice, nervously.

"I'm putting you all up for adoption!" he said, looking up for a moment, smiling evilly and going back to his papers.

Alice started to cry, Rose joined her. Emmett hugged Rose for support. I took Edward and Bella from them and laid them on the carpet. Jasper hugged Alice. Nessie even began to cry. Adoption?! That was harsh man. Sure they can be a bit of a handful, and they can do pretty much everything on the planet that they shouldn't do, but they're all good kids, underneath all that badness. I hugged Nessie close to me. Carlisle went to get an envelope for the adoption papers when I heard a car door slam.

"Esme," I whispered. Rose knew what to do. She jumped out of her seat, taking Emmett with her and ran out to her mother. I saw them talking, well, Emmett was talking, Rose was crying, from inside. When Esme came in she was fuming.

"CARLISLE!" she screamed. Carlisle ran down the stairs a frightened look on his face.

"WERE YOU PLANNING TO PUT OUT CHILDREN UP FOR ADOPTION?!" she asked. Carlisle choked on something. I grabbed Alice's hand, who grabbed Jasper's hand, who grabbed Rose's hand who had the now awake Bella in her arms, Bella grabbed onto Edward who was in Emmett's arms and we all ran out of the house.

"Hey, I guess you're stuck here then," I said, laughing. They laughed with me.

"I don't think Esme would mind if you stayed the night at my house, Billy can call her when she's calmed down a bit," I said. Rose nodded, smiling.

"I would really like that," she said, looking back at the house, where you could hear the screaming from inside. We all laughed and we all jumped into my truck.

**TA DA! Sorry it's sooooo late. I've been having a little trouble at home, just a tad, lol. And I had a wedding to go to. SO SORRY! You can all kill me later, but then again, you can't, I still have loads more chapters to write. YAY! I'LL LIVE! Thanks again to those who prayed for me, the praying paid off. Please review!**

**Please and thank-you.**


	15. Author's note

**Authors note**

I'm Sorry

I'm really sorry that I haven't written anything in ages and ages and ages and ages, and I'm not dead, I've just been really really really busy. I have my GCSE's coming up and for those who don't know they're major exams that affect the rest of my life. But, and it's a bit but, I'll make it up to you guys. I've written three chapters, but, another big but, I've started over, so it's the first three chapters, but, another big but, they're different than the first three chapters of this version on Babysitting hell, so it's a brand new version. The way you'll be able to tell if it's the new version or the old version is it won't say "chapter one" at the top where you can move from chapter to chapter, you know the thing I mean? Yeah, well, I'll say the chapter's name, e.g. Chapter one is called "trouble and Cabbage kids" There'll be new stuff and some old stuff, but all written differently. And I've added a new twist into the mix, there'll be more info at the end of the first chapter I'll be putting up. I will write more often, I'll trty my best to do that. It's summer now anyway (Well, it will be tomorrow) so I'll have a bit more free time, I won't be able to add a new chapter every day though, maybe every week, but don't hold that to me. Sometimes I get writers block and I have to revise over the summer. Again, I am Sorry, but believe me I'm not dead for those who believed me to be dead, I'm alive. Hope you enjoy the new version. I'll be uploading the first chapter today.


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